Blog Against the Machine

What Think Ye of Britney Spears?

Just when I was fully into self-righteously condemning Britney Spears as a drugged-out ho, senior pastor Jon Weece of Southland Christian Church in Lexington, Kentucky went upside my head.

In an Oct. 29 story on eonline.com, Natalie Finn reports that Weece asked his 8,000-strong congregation to "Take a few minutes and write a note to Britney Spears. No preaching. No criticizing. Just love. As a church, let's love Britney the way Jesus loves her." 

My butt is kicked, officially.

Radio Guys, Here's a Tip: Shut Up

Bill's pet peeve:

Interviewers who invite interesting people on their shows and then DO NOT SHUT UP and let the guest talk.

I'm trying to listen to a podcast of a talk radio show that has my boy Tom Peters on it right now. OK, so I tuned in to hear Tom. That's why you have guests on your show, to attract listeners. You invite people on  your show, then you say, "Hey, tune in to hear Famous Guy!"

So we tune in. And what do we hear? The interviewer prattling on and not letting the Famous Guy talk. What the hell? This happens all the time. People have to be quippy and have to "engage in dialog" with the famous person and end up talking 75% of the time. Then, we're out of time! Thanks for coming on the show.

So, if you invite Tom Cruise on your show, here's a tip: SHUT UP. Ask Tom a brief question, and then SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE and let him answer, fully. Then follow up AND SHUT YOUR YAP so we can hear Tom talk more. Is this difficult? Next time someone interviews someone on radio, pay attention. The interviewer will most likely do all the talking.

Why You Should Love Soccer

Why should you love soccer? Let me count the ways.

Virtually any child can play -- If you can run, you can play soccer as a kid. Size, even speed means relatively little at the youngest age. Even at advanced levels, size means less in soccer than virtually any team sport (with the possible exception of baseball). In fact, sometimes size is a disadvantage. Quick little forward vs. a big bruising defender? Give me the forward every time.

It's phenomenal exercise -- Soccer players are among the most fit athletes in the world. Much of soccer is spent fluctuating between a slow jog and a dead sprint. Watch elite soccer players. They rarely stand. It's also awesome mental exercise. You have to constantly think, anticipate, calculate, figure angles and odds, be aware of where everyone else is on the soccer field.

Free Church Drama!

I wrote a drama for my church about the unexpected power of prayer. Take it. Use it. Love it. Just let me know if your church uses it. Hopefully it will create a crack through which Christ can pour through.

Download 07-10-16_drama_pray-for-promotionBZ.doc .

The Goal is To Stand Out (I Swear)

This just in from my boy Tom Peters, a link to the TV commercial above by the British chocolate titan Cadbury. The Cadbury brand has taken some blows due to some salmonella issues. In order to rebuild, they need attention. They need people to watch their ads. And today, the key to people watching your ads is making them entertaining. The whole "SUPER SAVINGS EVENT" thing ain't working so well these days. The viewers have to get some value out of the ad itself, not just the information conveyed.

Hence the gorilla spot above. View it here. I laughed out loud. I watched it twice. I even posted it here on my blog. It's simple and goofy and communicates a benefit. Anyone care to guess? Anyone? Beuhler?

(Any similarities between the picture above and my picture to the right are strictly coincidental.)

J.K. Outs Dumbledore

Even though she's a woman, you gotta give it to J.K. Rowling (J. is for Joanne) -- she has balls of steel.

On October 19, during a reading at New York's Carnegie Hall, when a young fan asked her if the headmaster of the fictional Hogwarts School ever fell in love she answered:

"My truthful answer to you... I always thought of Dumbledore as gay," said Rowling, whose comments were posted on the Potter fan website the-leaky-cauldron.org.

Oh God. She's done it now. Across America, Book Burners are mobilizing to get Harry Potter banned from our schools because DUMBLEDORE is GAY. Just reading something with a Gay Character in it, according to the Book Burners, who often talk in Initially Capitalized words, is a threat to our Republic and our Judeo-Christian heritage.

So you WANT to be an Actor?

(Adapted from an original post from Jan. 24, 2005.)

I’m not sure why anyone would want to be an actor.

Seriously. I’ve never gotten the fixation on celebrities her in the U.S. And many celebrities are actors.  It’s like people think it’s sooooo cool to be an actor

To which my general reaction is: “Are you huffing paint?”

Beware of Digital Gangsters

Some articles I wrote for Rob and the most excellent posse over at PCPitstop.com just hit the Web. Turns out there's a whole subculture of bad guys out there who are collaborating and colluding to trick you out of your cash via phishing schemes and other fleecing.

Check out the newsletter here and take a bite out of digital crime.

Mega Breweries Gird Themselves for War of Tasteless Beers

The news out yesterday (Oct. 9) was that Miller and Coors are merging. As the Chicago Tribune put it:

"The marriage of the Coors and Miller brands promises to reshape the U.S. beer industry, likely creating a stronger challenger for reigning industry titan Anheuser-Busch, maker of Budweiser."

I'm here to tell ya beer consolidation is a threat to the American way of life.

Just Call Me Z-Unit

(Originally published July 2005)

At age 41, I’ve decided to change careers.

I’m transitioning to a career that is sort of related to writing, kind of, so it’s not an entirely radical shift. And I’m going to do something that lets me connect and bond with a whole new generation.

I’ve decided to become a gangster rapper.

Think Vanilla Ice with brown hair plus 20 years and 50 pounds. Ice-ice baby. Oh, I’ll take you to the candy shop. And, you know what? I’ll let you lick the lollipop.

So, obviously, job one in my transformation into a g-rap is to become extremely familiar with all the many nuances of my main topic -- my penis.