Deluxe Notes from the 2010 IndyCar Race at Chicagoland

Notes taken at the track and from the VERSUS broadcast of the Peak Antifreeze and Motor Oil Indy 300, Chicagoland Speedway, Joliet, Ill., Aug. 28, 2010.

Welcome to Mighty Chicagoland, home of the four-wide freak-showish festival of pink urine that makes veteran race car drivers weep like small children.

pressdog™ Beer of the Race is Devassa Tropical Lager from Brazil swilled festively with the one and only R. Hobbson of The Silent Pagoda fame, with able assistance from the G. Gordon Liddy-ish Larry Phelps, Official Pagoda Parliamentarian. Seems like the Pagoda had a camp out near Chicagoland Speedway, and that usually results in the wafting of teargas, the draining of Tasers, consumption of assorted Brazilian concoctions and, in the subsequent 24 hours, a flood of missing livestock reports to the Joliet Police Department.

I'm in position in the extreme Turn 1 end of a depressingly vacant grandstand with the scanner ready to go and the note book primed when who comes up the steps? The Famous Pippa Mann and her father, Mr. Mann. (HAR.) Fresh from her leading the Firestone Indy Light's race up until about corner 4 of the last lap when James Hinchcliffe pipped (sorry) her at the line. Insert blizzard of pressdog obscenities here.

Pippa told me that she was heartbroken but the faster driver won fair and square, and she was experiencing no rage over it. Good for you, Pippa. Here's a transcript of her post-race press conference.

I look down and there's Curty Cavin from the Mighty Indy Star sitting five rows in front of me. I stumbled into the VIP section! Me and the other 19 people sitting there.

Scanner selections for today are Sarah Fisher (of course), Danica Patrick and Ed Carpenter.

Versus has fired up its coverage. Lindy Thackston in the SKY LAIR, this time located in the "midway" which is outside the track where they have all the merchandise trailers. Basically it's Danica's aircraft carrier of a merch trailer and an armada of smaller support trailers that travel with it.

Darker colors are a good look for LindyCar. She's taken over as the anchor of the pre-race with good result. I did not see Lindy in person this trip to Chicagoland. More lamentation.

I did stop and see the graphics-generating B Unit on Friday. Yo yo yo home boyzzzzzz (and girlzzz). We conspired to spray paint "B UNIT" over the top of the NASCAR truck logos on the infield in the cover of darkness Friday night. I was good to go and had the night vision goggles out and was about to cover my super-white face in pitch when Jenny the B Unit Queen stepped in and we decided to abort the mission. When Jenny says "stand down" you stand down.

Meanwhile, on TV, we got an oval montage. Kansas won by Scott Dixon, Indy won by Dario Franchitti, Texas won by Ryan Briscoe and Iowa won by Tony Kanaan (insert Death Star exploding here).

Jack Arute is EVEN MORE TAN in person. I saw him working the pit lane while being chauffeured in a golf cart. He's on air talking to Dixon, the forgotten Ganassi. Emma Dixon hasn't gotten air time in AGES. That's tragic, right there.

Danica Patrick with Robbie Floyd. YES, THE Danica Patrick. The lost driver is found. Danica got ZERO pre-race air the last two races and now she's with Robbie in pit lane. Danica happy to be back on the ovals. Giddy as a Rainbow Scout! I talked to Danica for five minutes on Friday. We're super tight! No we're not! Not because I am a playah, but because I was in the media bullpen when she came through for her four-minute interviews. If you are standing in the media bullpen (a roped off area in a pit box), you get to talk to Danica.

Danica is great about always coming through the bullpen after qualifying. Whether her qualifying run was shitty or pole, she's ALWAYS coming through the bullpen. So is Dixon, Sarah, and others. Marco even showed up at Chicagoland. Others blow it off all the time. Dario and Helio are very rare. Some drivers, if they have a crap run, they bail on the bullpen. But Danica is always very cordial and answers questions directly. I appreciate that. Most of what she said to me is HERE.

Hedeki Mutoh has a pad in downtown Chicago. Package. Hideki has a great sense of humor which unfortunately didn't come out in this piece.  But, it's a minute on where he lives, so how funny can it get?

Chicagoland. Where winning by two yards is like winning by five minutes. 10 races at Chicagoland. 7 of them were won by less than 0.2 seconds. FIVE of the top ten closest finishes ALL TIME in IndyCar are at Chicagoland. It also hosted the closest finish in league history, Sept. 2006, when Sam Hornish beat Al Unser Jr. and Buddy Lazier in a three-wide lunge to the line by .0024 seconds.

And yet we probably won't be coming back to Chicagoland in 2011. Much lamenting and rumor swirling around the track that there won't be room on the Chicagoland schedule for IndyCar. Accusations that the International Speedway Corporation-owned track doesn't want IndyCar back. Here's a story from the Indy Star on it.

Basically, the track has to consider how much it costs to host a race (probably $1.5 million fee to the league plus the cost to operate everything at the track [labor, supplies, etc. etc.]) compared to the gate (shitty, in this race's case) and see if it pencils. Now add in accusations that Chicagoland doesn't promote the race with sufficient effort and gusto.

Some feel that Chicagoland, being owned by ISC which is owned by NASCAR, wants IndyCar to go away, so they don't promote it, nobody shows up, bam, it's not cost-effective to host the race and we got a good reason to kick IndyCar out. EXCEPT that other racing, NASCAR Nationwide, for example, costs less in sanctioning fees (half) and draws better. So it's a business deal. This has me pissy, because Chicagoland has been my favorite track for IndyCars (yeah, including Indianapolis) since the first race I saw there, the 2005 Festival of Briscoe as Airborne Fireball race.

ANYWAY, let's talk about Carey Hall, a fueler for Sarah Fisher Racing, who has ALS, also known as Lou Gehrig's disease, which gives me rage issues. Sarah's driving today with a big "Carey's Hope" sticker on the top of her rear wing showing support for Hall  in his fight against this SHITTY disease. This is going to be Carey's last race for SFR because the disease is taking it's toll. Gi-NORMOUS pressdog shout out to Carey, complete with beer of the race salute and copious manly tears. 

So let's realize how lucky we all are, and kick it old school for Carey. 

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Ryan Briscoe, Dario Franchitti, Will Power, Helio Castroneves, Marco Andretti, Graham Rahal, Dan Wheldon, Hideki Mutoh, Ryan Hunter-Reay, Takuma Sato, Ed Carpenter, Danica Patrick, Tony Kanaan, Alex Lloyd, Scott Dixon, EJ Viso, Tomas Scheckter, Raphael Matos, Alex Tagliani, Bertrand Baguette, Mario Moraes, Ana Beatriz, Justin Wilson, Vitor Meira, Sarah Fisher, Milka Duno, Simona de Silvestro, Davey Hamilton, Jay Howard.

Let's light this ALS-hating candle. Chicagoland: I. LOVE. YOU. MAN ... We're GREEN GREEN GREEN.

Holy FUGLY-ASS starts. Single file to the line. Dude, if they can start two-wide at random dirt tracks across America, I think you should be able to do it at an IndyCar race. I'm not sure what you would have to do to get a start waved off? Come across the line firing a pistol into the crowd? Throwing human feces back at the cars behind? Firing a flare gun directly at the starter? Lobbing goat entrails into the stands? Pretty sure we'd still go green if any or all of those things occurred. 

Sarah radios that you can't see on the back stretch due to the sun being right in the eyes of the drivers.

Lap 5 -- Yellow yellow yellow. I suspect someone was blinded by the fugliness and took the wall. Scheckter went ass around. Matos and Lloyd involved. Matos whips the steering wheel about 10 yards from his car. Pissed.

Replay -- Power sideways and almost into Ed who somehow didn't freak out. That caused Matos and Lloyd and Meira to get squirrelly though.

LindyCar with Scheckter. No idea what happened. Got hit from behind.

Replay of Tony Kanaan who gained about five spots on the start. Robbie Buhl says "momentum" so DRINK, ye BASTARDS.

Lap 9 -- Sarah and Tags, Wilson, Vitor, Moraes, Lloyd, Milka and Simona all pit for fuel here. Off strategy. I believe Versus thinks this is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS and doesn't show or mention it. Sarah does not get tires. Not sure about the rest of them. Sarah gets a half turn of front wing. Says again she can't see shit in the back straight.

Jay Howard is up seven spots from the start.

Lap 13 -- Sarah's pit: "Go get 'em. Have some fun."

Lap 15 -- Resetart. GREEN. Another fugly shit restart. I am no longer surprised. Marco is on the button (Push to Pass). Still no graphic for P to P button usage. Viewing would be greatly enhanced if we had one to show at key times to see who was  buttonizing.

Lap 18 -- The five women in the field are running together along with Jay Howard, who's boss is Sarah Fisher. Sarah is closing on Danica. Sarah pit -- "Go get her."  Later "tuck in there and go get her."

I am pretty sure Danica's radio frequency on the official spoter's guide is bullshit. Either that or they don't talk ever. Nothing on her channel. My guess is they go to another channel for the race, which is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, and I think is against the rules, an that thwarts people trying to listen. Dude. That's cold. Isn't there some rule that you gotta stay on your scanner channel? The Track Scan people who rent scanners may be kind of pissed about this development. Or it could be my scanner is shit. Either way, this is the second race where there was nothing on my scanner for Danica. So I bail on her frequency and switch to Tony.

Lap 18 -- Sarah pit -- "You have a good pace going here, Sarah. Tuck in with her (Bia) and keep going." Sarah responds by saying she needs front wing on her next stop.

Lap 20 -- Dixon up to P7. Robbie says "momentum." Drink, bitches. Briscoe, Marco, Helio, Dario, Ed, Wheldon, Dixon, TK, RHR, Viso.

Lap 21 -- Dixon popping high side frequently to see what is going on up there. Jon Beekhuis in the booth says "momentum." Drink, dammit.

LindyCar reports that Ed Carpenter is GEEKED to be back in the car. Read a bit about what Ed and Sarah Fisher said about driving amid the LUNACY here.

Two-wide for the lead. Five in a wacky reverse arrow-head formation here.

Lap 25 -- Sarah pit -- "Last lap you were half a mile per hour quicker than the leader." A lap later: "Keep digging. Don't let them get away. Leaders cannot leave you so keep up with them."

LindyCar with Matos. Said Alex Lloyd slowed down in front of him, he went to Evasive Maneuver Alpha Sierra Tango to try and avoid him but couldn't. It's funny how every car that gets caught up in a crash was a great car and they were going to the front.

Lap 31 -- Sarah pit: "Davey (Hamilton) is coming back to you. Let's get him."

Lap 35 -- Sarah inhales Davey. Pit: "Great job." Lap 36 -- Sarah inhales Matos for P20. Working on Wilson now.

Lap 39 -- Marco is fond of the high line. Popping out there frequently. Jon says going two-wide takes 2 mph off the cars speed. They go 2 mph faster when they get in line.

Sarah overtakes Wilson. Pit: "Clear all! Clear all! Let's get Danica. Last lap was one and a half miles an hour quicker than the leaders." (that fits with the Jon observation). 

Lap 40 -- Briscoe, Marco, Wheldon, Helio, Ed, Power,Viso, Dario, Dixon, Rahal.

Lap 41 -- Robbie says "momentum." Drink, YE BASTARDS. Marco looking looking looking outside Briscoe.

Lap 42 -- Sarah goes two-wide with Danica. Pippa and I exchange glances. I think she's checking to see if I may have a stroke. Danica inhales Baguette to end the threat. Sarah radios "I need help." Sarah pit: "This stop. Keep fighting it for us and we'll put wing in this stop."

Lap 45 -- Wheldon up to P3. Race viewing enhanced.

Lap 47 -- Robbie, "momentum" drink if you're still not hammered. Tony radios in that he has understeer. Something is up with Jay Howard because he makes pit stop number nine, roughly.

Lap 52 -- Sarah pit: "You need to fight it another 12 to 15 laps. Wee need to pit in the window to make this strategy work." Sarah: "10-4"

Lap 53 -- Marco try to pit.  Holy Tricky Interstate lane change! Marco has to let Dan Wheldon flash under him before he can dive down to pit road. Good thing Marco and/or his spotter had their heads out of their asses or it could have been a festival of carbon fiber right there. Sarah's pit: "Leaders are starting to pit. Give us some in-laps."

Lap 55 -- Sarah pit: "Dig deep for us. Dig deep for us." Pippa points out to me that Tag is out of fuel and coasting in.

Lap 58 -- Cue the circus music! Helio didn't get close enough to his pit to get the fuel in. They have to get the little "quick jack" out and lift up the ass end of the car and swing it toward the wall. A tiny tow truck pulls up and 19 clowns get out and start trying to fit SUNOCO NASCAR gas cans into the side of Helio's car.

Lap 61 -- Sarah pitting. The lap 9 pitters are coming in. Looks like about 50 laps is the fuel window. Sarah out. Pit: "Give us a great out lap. Great job, Sarah. Great job, guys. Let's keep the fun going all night long."

Lap 65 -- Briscoe, Marco, Wheldon, Dixon, TK, RHR, Power, Ed, Rahal, Viso.

Lap 71 -- Sarah pit: "Keep digging. Get  up to Davey.  You can do it."

Lap 73 -- Robbie says "momentum" TWICE. Slam round!

Review of pit lane gaffs here by Jack who may or may not be wearing a clown suit when he does it. I've had too many "momentum" drinks to know for sure.

Lap 78 -- Yellow yellow yellow. We're not sure what the hell for. Please not a phantom debris. I think Bia brushed the wall. Sarah: "The car is good, I'm not gonna lie." I can tell by the tone of voice that Sarah is en fuego.

LindyCar with Alex Lloyd. Every single car that gets wrecked in the race is a top-5 car, I swear, which would put about ten cars in the top 5. Alex had a top fiver going, according to Alex! DAMN.

Jack Arute has two tiny fans, one in each hand, and bashes them together. But the screens prevent any chaos. Now he has two other fans, without the front screens. FOR GOD'S SAKE WEAR EYE PROTECTION JACK. He bashes them together to try and illustrate the whole tire-to-tire ramping thing. Busts one fan. Luckily Jack doesn't come away with any fan shrapnel embedded in his SKULL. Then it would have been: "And this profusely bleeding wound caused by piece of metal in my forehead is exactly why you don't want to touch tires. Guys?"

Robbie says "fresh Firestone rubbers are always a good thing" which causes me to spew beer. (Beavis and Butthead chuckles) "He said rubbers."

Festival of pit stops under yellow, so cue the circus music! Sato is ass around on pit lane facing the wrong way. KV, Inventing New Ways to DNF™. Mutoh circles the track without a left front. It's an hommage to the Delta Wing (rim shot).

W. T. F.? Sarah Fisher is P1. OMG. O. M. G. Sarah P1. Due to her strategy of pitting on the early yellow at Lap 9, and pitting on Lap 63, she moves on up when the leaders pit and has a stunning view of the pace car. Sarah: "Awesome car. It's a lot of fun out here."

Lap 79 -- Ed pits. I just realized his frequency is locked out on my scanner. I adjust. As Ed comes out, he says "Someone should go punch (f-bombing) (name I missed). He was standing two feet from the tire." I think the deal was that a tire changer was standing by the tire and didn't move for Ed, which is kind of a courtesy deal if your driver is already gone.

I am now breathing into a bag in the stands. First time Sarah has led since Kentucky 2002. Sarah: "Where's the cone anyway? (Acceleration cone). Pit: "right .... THERE."

Marco's pit: "Believe it or not, Sarah Fisher is leading right now." Diss you very much.

Sarah: "Now my stomach hurts."

Sarah gets monster air in P1. Restart coming, so Versus goes to a circus music replay of Tony coming out of his pit, engine sputters for a second which forces Danica to go to Evasive Maneuver Hotel X-Ray William. She avoids ass-ending TK or causing mayhem with the maneuver. Props to Danistar for her reaction there. But I guess the restart of the race is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Dude. Someone who hasn't led since 2002 is restarting. Ah, maybe. Or so a replay of a near miss in the pit instead. Tough call there.

Cue the circus music! Sarah does fine up front, but OF COURSE people were stopping and starting and playing goofy games in the back and it got fugly and the dreaded accordion effect cause cars to spin like tops on the restart, so we're yellow yellow yellow.

Vitor into Mutoh, Mutoh into Tag. Festival of Carbon Fiber in the back.

Pretty sure Robbie said "Mitor" here. Caused me to chortle. Vitor is in for new nose number two. Will continue. Tag gives Vitor a gesture as he leaves the pits. Not sure it was Vitor/Mitor's fault though. Crazy ass checking up and not checking up and general bullshit start was to blame.

Good news is Sarah gets credit for more laps led here.

Lindy with Sato. Hit by teammate (Viso) in the pit. I'm pretty sure he had a top five car.

Restart coming. We'll see if it's ANY OF OUR BUSINESS.Jack with the weekly Firestone commercial. Al Speyer, Firestone guy, says the teams could probably double stint tires if they wanted. Sarah is way ahead of you, Al (and Jack). She took no tires on her first stop, gained monster track position, got off strategy and look at her now. P1. Penske/Ganassi does that we hustle down to talk about how brilliant the move was. SFR does it ... pft. Probably going to have to pit in about 20 green laps, though.

EJ is sheepish with LindyCar. Says the car was amazing. Top 5 no doubt. "It's a fricking shame."

Lap 90 -- GREEN. Sarah does an awesome Knoxvillian start, but the back of the pack is FUGLY, as usual. Jon -- people passing before the start (no way, Jon, that's illegal!) Robbie says "momentum" so we can sooth our fugly-start offended eyes by DRINKING.

Jon/Robbie says the Iron Hand of Justice (Brian Barnhart) has told RHR to give back a spot he got with his nutty restart. 

So, Let Them Race advocates, should the IHJ black flag wankers who get stupid on restarts? I say yes. A couple drive throughs for dumb-ass starts would calm it down noticeably. Maybe except for the last restart when rules should be suspended? Discuss.

Lap 90 -- Sarah (!!!), Briscoe, Dario, Marco, Power, Rahal, Dixon, TK, RHR, Ed.

Lap 92 -- Briscoe inhales Sarah. But she sticks in P2. Marco makes it three-wide. Sarah, Dario, Marco. Wish I would have been listening to Dario's radio. Probably screaming about a back marker in P2. Pass her then, Dario.

Lap 93 -- Jon says Sarah Fisher likes that clean air. This is almost a shout out for Sarah.

Lap 97 -- Ed approaching. Sarah still P2. Not going quietly. Sarah stays about three inches off the white line for 20 laps. Like a slot car almost.

Alex pit interview. Said they had a rocket ship (top 5 for sure!) but ran out of fuel on the first stop. Proud of his peeps.

Lap 100 -- Ed and Sarah go two-wide for P2 for about 10 laps. Sarah low, Ed high, maybe a yard apart.

Lap 104: Marco is pushing Sarah from behind. I nearly vapor lock.

Actual Tweet from me from the track at about this time:

Lap 108 -- Sarah Fisher has the wings back and is getting monster air. Robbie celebrates by saying "momentum." Ed gets into a three-wide sandwich and has to back out. Ed: "What the (f-bomb) was that?"

Lap 109 -- Sarah fades to P4. Two-wide with Ed who is P5. Ed: "God dang it. Come on, Sarah, get the (F-bomb) out of the way." (Sarah could not hear this, so she could not get the f-bomb out of the way, but if she could, she would probably say "why don't you f-bombing pass me then.") That's so dirt track!

Lap 111 -- Sarah has faded to P5. Will pit shortly. Jon says "momentum." Whoever's not already drunk can DRINK YE BASTARDS.

Lap 116 -- Sarah pits. Robbie celebrates with a "momentum." You know what to do!

Lap 117 -- Sarah pit: "These guys gotta come in and we'll be back up front. Keep digging. " Sarah needs to stay in front of the leaders, only one lap down after pitting, so she can get her pit back and hopefully land in the top 10 in a street-race-like fashion when they pit. Then she maintains and pits again for her final stop before the leaders, gets the wings back and hangs in there for a top 10 at least. That's the strategy, anyway,

Over to Power's pit. Floyd asks Clive Howell, Power Pit Boss, if he wanted Power up in the pack like that or if he should play it more conservatively. Clive: "He just told me I know what I'm doing with a little expletive in the middle."

Lap 120 -- Briscoe, Power, Marco, Ed, TK, Rahal, Dixon, RHR, Moraes, Dario. Danica P13, Sarah P21.

Lap 125 -- Leaders approaching Sarah, which would put her two laps down and severely kink the strategy. Needs a yellow here. Sarah pit: "Try to stay in front of the leaders so when we pit we'll advance more."

Lap 126: Sarah pit: "Hang in there Sarah. Leader is 15 (car lengths) back and pitting in 5 laps or so. Make these count. Keep digging."

Lap 130: Sarah inhaled. Insert obscenities from me here.

Lap 136 -- Moraes pits. Briscoe pits. Festival of pitting. Sarah should get one of her two laps back here. Dixon pitted in 10th, came out in 11th and then shot up to P4 when others pit. Festival of short filling speculation here.

Lap 143 -- Ed has to come back in because he didn't get enough fuel. Insert obscenities here.

Lap NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS -- Power shoots up the track and nearly walls it. Booth guys freak out.

Lap 146: Ed gets a drive-through for pit lane speeding.

Lap 152 -- Power goes high, gives the booth a group myocardial infarction (heart attack). Power is tossing his car all over the place. Three wide with Marco and Weldon. Air traffic controllers atop the suites radio all teams that we are clear for takeoff.

Lap 155 -- TK gets fishy. Welcome to Knoxville. Booth "WOOOOOOOE." Festival of angina in the booth right now. Onboard Wheldon, Power is about to donut Wheldon's side pods. Dude. Prison Rules Racing may break out soon.

Wheldon, Power, Marco, Briscoe, RHR, Dixon, TK, Helio, Dario, Rahal, Danica. Sarah P17.

Lap 159 -- Sarah pits. Sarah pit: "Come on. Right here. We got ya."

Lap 160 -- Power leads.

Lap 163 -- Ed and Sarah are drafting. Sarah's radio may be toast since I hear nothing from her. Later I found out it was, because Sarah lost the antenna on her car, so she had no communication whatsoever AND no dashboard electronics. Flash back to the dirt track!

Lap 168 -- Power leads Marco. There have been 24 lead changes in this race (a number inflated by pit stop leading) with 11 different leaders. I think both are records for Chicagoland.

Lap NOYB -- Wheldon low, RHR high, they almost touch.

Lap 170 -- Yellow yellow yellow. Alex Lloyd just goes ass around in the front straight, right in front of Sarah. He slides down the track and goes for a major surfing safari ride through the front straight grass. No contact. Insert me screaming obscenities here, because Sarah's off sequence strategy is likely hosed. Needed this yellow about 20 laps ago.

Festival of final pit stops coming up. Circus clowns are stubbing out cigarettes, stretching, getting ready to go. Dario in, out, gained 8 places. Out in front of power. Holy street race! Dario inhaled Power in the pits. Robbie: "Did they put on tires?" We're not sure. Good question.

Arute confirms that Dario did not take tires. They set them out, but then decided at the last second not to change. Chippie with Robbie. We're a 5th or 6th place car so that's our chance to win.

Ed pit: "Ed, our current plan is to stay out until we're empty and that's going to be our day." Ed: "copy."

Lap 176 -- Sarah gets the wave around and gets one of her two laps back.

Power's pit telling him he doesn't have enough fuel to make it. Must have been a fueling issue. WTF? You think Penske is going to have pit practice this week? Maybe? First Helio pulls in five feet from his box and they have to move his car, now we got an unintentional short fill.

Danica also didn't change tires and gained five places. We've had 11 different leaders in this race, the most in IndyCar series history. And one of them was Sarah Fisher.

Ed radio: "We are staying out. If you can get around some people, OK, but let's not get in anybody's way or ruin anybody's day."

Lap 177 -- GREEN. 

Lap 180 -- FOUR WIDE. Don't try this at home kids. NASCAR-ish grip up high here tonight for some drivers. Briscoe is driving through the dust up high. Onboard with Briscoe who goes outside Marco to make it FOUR WIDE briefly. WTF?

Dario, Wheldon, Power, RHR, Marco, TK, Briscoe, Rahal, Dixon, Danica. Sarah P18.

Lap 191 -- 14 drivers within one second of each other. It's the famous Chicagoland bumble bee formation. When the pack goes by it's like five bombers flying right over your head. A low rumble.  Pretty freaky in person.

Briscoe goes WAY high. Robbie says Momentum. DRINK if you're not dead yet. RHR pushes people up the track. Not making friends out there.

Lap 192 -- Sarah is closing on Danica, which is technically for position, yet would be a symbolic pass, since Danica is a lap ahead of her. Danica is last car on the lead lap, Sarah is the first car a lap down. Sarah has to get out of it due to traffic, though.

Lap 195 -- Power pops the chute to pit. Sucks to be him. Bet his fueler is on suicide watch today.

Robbie wonders "how do you put yourself in that position?" Equipment issue or someone screwed up, Robbie. It happens.

Lap 196 -- Dario, Wheldon, Marco, RHR, Dixon, Wilson (!), TK, Rahal, Helio, Vitor. Danica P13. Sarah P16.

It's Dario, Wheldon and Marco now for the win. Dario leads by a half a car. Wheldon looking looking outside. Dario won't budge from the low line.

WHITE -- Not looking good for the Jedi (Marco and Wheldon).

Dario. Dario wins by half a car, which is like winning by two minutes at Chicagoland. Wheldon, Marco.

Trackside online finishing order: Dario Franchitti, Dan Wheldon, Marco Andretti, Ryan Hunter-Reay, Tony Kanaan, Helio Castroneves, Justin Wilson, Scott Dixon, Vitor Meira, Graham Rahal, Ryan Briscoe, Bertrand Baguette, Hideki Mutoh, Danica Patrick, Sarah Fisher, Will Power, Mario Moraes, Davey Hamilton, Milka Duno, Ed Carpenter, Jay Howard, Alex Lloyd, Simona de Silvestro, Ana Beatriz, Alex Tagliani, Takuma Sato, EJ Viso, Tomas Scheckter, Raphael Matos.

Clive says an equipment issue prevented Power from getting full fuel. Dan and Marco on camera. DUEL SIPPING. Marco has some Venom, Dan has his customary NOS. Sip city. I would think the LAST thing you would need after Chicagoland would be an energy drink. Dan said he was helped by his drafting partner, Dario. Awesome. That's like hearing Luke Skywalker thank Darth Vader for helping him out. Maybe draft with Marco.

We're down to the winner circle, where the Ganassi victory chortle NEVER gets old. This has all the charm of rich guys who buy a poor person's house and then forecloses on it just because they can. Blah blah blah. Dario gives credit to his pit crew, which is refreshing. At least we get to see Cameron the IZOD IndyCar trophy girl in the background. Smile. Nod. Her and the Firehawk are hanging out. I got a fist bump from the Firehawk this weekend. HUGE. Nobody has seen the Firehawk out of uniform. It's nutty. He may actually be a life form.

I also got something from Cameron this weekend. (An interview. Simmer down.)

Ganassi celebrates by ripping some food away from homeless people and feeding it to his prize Cogris. Kidding. That was harsh. I regret it. It's bad enough when the Death Star is 3 mph faster than everyone, but when they "steal" one. Judas. Don't blame them for wanting to win and winning and celebrating the win, but that doesn't make it more fun to watch. Thanks so much to Dan Wheldon for helping out!

Floyd tries to ask Dario if he learned anything from Sarah hugging the line. Nice try, Floyd, but the day Ganassi or Dario says they learned anything from Sarah is the day the earth suddenly loses all atmosphere. Insert non-answer from Dario here. Could have given Sarah a harmless nine-second shout out, but no.

Power with Jack -- didn't get enough fuel in there. That's racing. Was having fun. Up front on an oval. Charles gets air in the background of a pit interview maintaining order. Sweeps people off the pit lane with a mere gesture. 

Championship Points Chaos! Power still leads Dario, but now by just 23. He came  into the race leading by 59. YOU DO THE MATH. Versus and the league are probably giddy that the championship is tightening up. Dixon is -85, Briscoe is -122, Helio is -130 and RHR is -136.

Power is your twisty trophy champion. Dario leads the oval trophy by 23 over Dixon and 33 over Kanaan. Pretty sure Dario will win the oval since you KNOW Dixon isn't going to finish in front of him any time soon, unless he does so to beat Power with Dario third. RHR has a 32-point lead over TK for the pressdog™ Jedi Knight Award (a pair of athletic socks in an obscure Caddyshack homage) for highest non-big-two finishing driver.

RHR said the race was "nuts. Crazier than any Texas race. I'm sure people are going to leave here pissed off at each other" (but will get over it this week). Tony says it felt like "hell." Great TV for you guys and for the fans, but we were hanging on for dear life out there. "I'm sure I know you guys watching it enjoyed it at home. I was not enjoying it here."

Sarah post-race interview. Finished P15. HOLD UP, Sarah gets a post race but not Danica. OMG. I think this is a first. If the last  yellow had fallen a couple of laps earlier the pit strategy would have played out better. So much fun to get out there and run up front. Givers Carey a shout out. Fun for us, too, Sarah. Word to the SFR posse for making my last trip to Chicagoland Speedway (probably) as memorable as my first (which featured the Briscoe Fireball).

That's it from Chicagoland. I'll weep openly when the schedule comes out and Chicagoland is replaced with a street race. Less stress on TK and more pleasant for Dario, at least. Nobody will watch it on TV, but that's fine, apparently. Not that I am bitter.

Tune in on Saturday, Sept. 4, 8 p.m. Eastern on Versus for the big show at Kentucky to watch the Death Star win again.

Comments

[Carrie]

Your tweets were killing me Saturday, p-dog. Viewing totally enhanced!

[Jeff Iannucci]

I too will weep like a baby when the 2011 schedule is announced and Chicagoland is absent. I have a framed photo of the finish of the 2003 race on my wall and...excuse me, I need a moment to compose myself.

(insert a slight sniffle and the shedding of a manly tear, followed by the pounding of my chest with my fist)

Kudos to Sarah and Ed, because I'm going to screen cap their scene from Saturday featuring the graphic "Battle for 2nd" and make it my desktop photo. At the time I was disoriented and checking the window for a plague of locusts.

Also, congratulations to Dental Plan Dan and Marco, both of whom raced fantastically. I swear Marco was 2nd behind every single leader, frantically jamming his thumb on the "Push-To-Pull-Beside" button. It's a shame that all those two got for there efforts were, well, are those things they're holding - "certificates of participation?"

[Brett Smithson]

Jack had another classic "oops!" moment during one of his annoying pit reports, referring to a driver as "Always a bride, never a bridesmaid." (Doh!) Uh, I think it's supposed to be the other way around, Jack, unless this was a secret hint about a rumoured Vegas finale next year. Then it would at least make a modicum of sense, I suppose.

[Chris]

Perfect weather, big field, exciting race... lousy crowd, dead event. It's a strange world.

I attended the '08 and '09 Joliet races, skipped last year but was there this weekend; and dragged three guests (fam. members) to each of these events.

Another toast to Wheldon and Andretti, both very racy. And Fisher. And Carpenter. And HCN, who got back into it after his terrible early stop.

[Roy Hobbson]

So long, Chicagoland. You were a spirited warrior & you died doing what you loved: ROCKING THE FUCKING HOUSE. You will be missed.

(And a round of applause to you, Bill. You worked your ass off this weekend. I haven't enough Whatever Brazilian Tropical Lagers to give you. Well done, friend.)

[The American Mutt]

Let me start this by saying I love Chicago and Sarah Fisher, but I don't share the love when it comes to saturdays race. Up front it was largely a two file parade, the guy on the outside couldn't get around whoever held the low line, and the evidence to this (sorry P Dog) was clearest when Sarah held onto second. Briscoe opened up a huge lead while the rest of the field got bunched up by Sarah. Within two laps of finally getting around her they'd caught back up to Briscoe and couldn't get around him. IMO this was not a spectacular chicago race by any means. Two wide is awesome and fun, but if no ones actually getting a pass done up front it's still a parade. Furthermore, if we're going to black flag Helio for running a defensive line, then Dario should've been black flagged for taking up two lanes for 20 laps. Go back and watch it and tell me his car wasn't positioned in a "Defensive" (some might say blocktacular) line the entire end of the race. I too will be sad if this race is absent from the schedule but didn't find the top ten particularly exciting for most of the race, and after about twenty laps they ended up spread out just as much as any road course, with a pit win by a red car.

Sorry, I simply don't agree with anybodies assessment of this as an thrilling race. There's always action in the back of the pack, and while we had a lot of different "leaders" at what point was Briscoe not completely in control of this race not based on pit strategy?

[pressdog]

Mutt, if I were you, I'd show IndyCar by never watching another race ever! You never seem to have anything positive to say, so maybe it's time to move on? I thought you were OUT after the Edmonton restart.

[rico500]

Screw manly tears. I will be bawling openly with snot pouring down my face, like a tiny little girl whose brother broke the head off her Barbie and melted it in the microwave, if the IICS doesn't return to Chicagoland. That was my first time there, and I loved it. But I certainly understand. In perusing Chicagoland's schedule for this year, one can clearly see they were booked pretty solid. There's nary a free weekend to be had. If you add another NASCAR race into the mix next year, that would bring the number of weekends booked for racing there in 2011 to... let me just do the math here... carry the 1... And the answer is: 2.

[Robert Simpson]

pdog, it's Carey Hall, not Corey Hall.

[pressdog]

Robert: I booted it. Thanks. I changed it to Carey.

[Tom G.]

Certificates of Appreciation? Pffft!!!! what sort of feeder series do you think we are running here.

No, those are Coupons good for $5 off their next purchase of Peak Anti-freeze.

Because when you peak, you win!

[The American Mutt]

Marco ran magnificently, it was great to see Sarah get air time (even if I'm not as impressed by her run as you are), it was great to see briscoe not being the Penske fifth wheel on the track, Power proved in my mind that he can run up front on ovals, and win (even if he didn't). Glad to see a Panther car up front (even if I didn't particularly like the way in which Wheldon handled the lead...swinging up way too much to throw off the momentum of power and marco?, he could very easily have put all three of them in the wall)

Sorry I don't particularly share your opinion, and generally post more negative than positive, but the positives are frequently covered by everyone else (unless of course the track has right turns in it). Merely saying that as far as chicago racing usually goes I found it dissappointing with the same kind of ending that most people complain about on a road course.

This also doesn't address the question of Dario running in two different lines. No one was going to get up next to him, and as such we, the fans, were denied a spectacular Chicago ending.

I haven't given up because, even if I hate the rule, I understand now that it wasn't a bullshit call according to how the rule is written.

[Jim Bob]

That was a parade? Really?

Some of you don't understand racing, do you? Or are some of you so jaded by your road racing bias, that you are afraid to admit that oval racing generally kicks road racing's wimpy ass? The CrackForum brigade of pansies, who think the only proper oval races are on flat tracks (with lots of horsepower and on tracks that used to host CART races), are clueless. If you weren't interested by Saturday's race, then you need to go watch F1 or Star Mazda or go find a SCCA race somewhere.

Robin Miller is a fairly smart guy. But he calls places like Texas, Kentucky and Chicago "NASCAR Tracks". Really? They are RACE TRACKS built for high speed RACE CARS. The IRL has put on damn good racing at real RACE TRACKS in its history. Where don't they put on good races? At places like Barber, Belle Isle, Snorenoma, Long Beach and Mid Ohio that aren't RACE TRACKS that can accomodate real RACE CARS.

Oval racing is where its at. I'd take that "procession" over the numerous "events" we have been subjected to at motorcycle tracks and manhole jumping street festivals in this sport.

If the road racing bred drivers don't like it, then stay in Europe. Oval racing is inheritently dangerous; especially in open wheel cars. Its what seperates the men from the boys. Its what draws folks to the track and to the TV sets. Its part of what helped make the Indy 500 so big.

It was cool to see 2 actual American oval track drivers (Fisher and Carpenter) up front on Saturday. A nice changeup to see those vastly inferior (according to many of the asshats at TF) drivers from a vastly inferior racing genre of American oval racing (same asshats).

But you continue to take more and more of these real RACE TRACKS away from Indy Cars, and there won't be a place for the Fisher's and Carpenter's of the world in the future (except maybe at Indy). And that's bad, no matter how you spin it.

[Jim Bob]

And one other thing...

Considering how lame Marco Andretti has run in the past few years in this sport (especially considering the budget his team has), I don't think the comment from his team about "believe it or not, Sarah Fisher is leading", makes a whole lot of sense.

(In my best Bill Tobin)...Really, who the hell is Marco Andretti? He's just a midpack talent running for his daddy's team, with exactly one more Indy Car win on his resume then Sarah.

[pressdog]

I've been impressed with the Young Prince (Marco) this year. He's maturing for sure. He comes through the bullpen (Dario, not so much), understands he needs to work it for the sponsors, doesn't get snotty or scream unintelligibly on his radio any more. Sat down with me in a coffee shop in Des Moines, Iowa and was very pleasant. Really showing some personal growth, IMO. I was happy to finance my oldest daughter's Marco jersey buy at Iowa.

[Thesmartestguyintheroom]

Actually, Jim Bob, it's YOU who doesn't understand racing. "It's what draws the folks from the track and to the tv sets?" If that was the case, why was the attendance at Chicagoland this weekend LOWER than that of Barber, Mid-Ohio and Infinieon, hmmm? Answer that, Einstein. You won't, because you can't. You clearly are biased toward ovals, and that's fine. Narrow-minded, ignorant, holier-than-thou, but that's fine. You want to watch what you want, go watch NASCAR, where people of your intellectual level are welcome. Just for the record, bolding words doesn't make you sound intelligent, it just displays your intellecutal inability to articulate properly.

Now that I've put you in your place, I can now move on. I did find the race exciting, however, I also agree with The American Mutt that it wasn't in many ways much different than seeing some road/street courses which the simple-minded such as Jim Bob decry as boring. Then again, maybe it's boring to you, Jim Bob, because on street/road courses you actually have to have a brain and the capacity to think intelligently, clearly not strengths of yours, are they?

[pressdog]

We're NOT going to start a big ovals vs. twisties flame war here. Take the personal crap to Track Forum or anywhere else, OK? Plenty of room for you to roll around over there. Everyone seems to have had their shot, so everybody needs to calm down or we're done here. Attack the argument, not the person.

[The American Mutt]

Sorry P Dog, was totally not trying to start a flame war, just lodging some IMO legitimate complaints. I felt it very processional, but as stated previously will miss it from the schedule, and as with last year, will miss it as the finale. That being said, with the exception of Briscoe around Fisher I don't recall a single on track pass for the lead that stuck.

Further clarification, I'm neither an oval lover, nor am I a road course lover (though lately I've grown to prefer them as it's more likely to see a big two beat down). I'm an open wheel lover who's gets just as excited by watching pack racing as watching somebody tail gate a car at 180 into a braking zone. Furthermore, I'll concur with anybody who says we need to ditch motorcycle tracks, crowd or no crowd it's not an enjoyable event to see on tv, and will never draw ad revenue.

Regarding the lack of positivity: (a brief story) I went to my first 500 at the age of 12 (a week away from 13), it was 92, an instant fan was born that day, despite the frigid temperatures, who needs a coat in may in Indy for fucks sake. *side note, back then my second favorite event of the year was Cleveland* I regretably had to give up on the sport from 97 through 02 because both sides disgusted me, and my favorite drivers weren't at my favorite track (I promise this is going somewhere). After going to pole day in 02 I was hooked all over again, but since then I've heard nothing but complaint after complaint about how wrong the series is going, and it's wearing on me. I just don't understand why people still wage this war, and both sides are equally guilty of it.

I was merely trying to point out that the flaw is, perhaps, not the venue the cars are racing at as evidenced by less than spectacular racing. It shouldn't be a road, street, or oval complaint. It's the car, and 2011 can't come quick enough for this fan.

Sorry I rambled on.

[Mike R]

SO...how about those 49er's going 3 and 0 thus far in pre-season?

[Trent]

Great write-up! Sounds like it would have been a lot of fun to sit where you were.

RHR was just scary to watch for the last 10 or so laps. Great show, though.

[Mark]

P-Dog, you left out the highlight of the race when the entire lead pack had Milka surrounded and she was shaking her ass end like Charo. I thought the guys in the booth were going to wet themselves on that one...

[cartracer20]

pdog, great to hear more about Ed and Sarah, as I've always rooted for the underdog myself. Makes it tons more interesting than what we typically see!

Kudos!