Peeps. It's kinda early on Saturday. 7:22 a.m Central. Real quick, pull up some dark roast. This isn't going to be about You Know Who, well not directly, so let's discuss a few hopes and dreams for the Daytona 500 weekend.
Throw a Net over DW -- Ya know, I respect Darrell Waltrip's achievement and knowledge and all that, but please make sure he's not High as a Kite on Danicaine when the broadcast rolls. Have some snipers locked and loaded with Thorazine tranq darts standing by in case Darrell is overtaken by Random Danica Spewing (RDS), like when he credited Danica's example for Jimmie Johnson knowing to let go of the wheel when frontal impact is imminent. LORD KNOWS I spew on about Danica Patrick, but I try to stop short of screaming that she drove her car out of the garage in a SPECTACULAR FASHION.
Stop with the Boys vs. Girl Thing -- Just stop. Stop stop stop it. Yeah, gender is part of the story. Yeah, it's a big deal that she's breaking ground for females. Yeah, she's an example for young girls of what is possible. But "girl whippin' the boys?" Stupid. Think about it. Whenever anyone on the playground said "boys vs. girls" it was like saying "strong vs. weak." And if the weak beat the strong: shame. "You got beat by a girl" is the same as saying "you're an insufficient man" in some people head. I think that's the psychology here.
Naturally, it's not true and we all should be above that, but come on. Why poke that wasp's nest? This is racing. Ask some cart track operators what the "get beat by a girl" thing does. There's plenty of misogyny (hatred of women) running around, and some dumb-ass parents will shame and ridicule their own male children if they lose to girls. It's like we've forgotten that racing attracts the high-testosterone people. Let's not feed that mindset, OK? Just stop it.
Get your shit together, NASCAR.com -- What is it these days with the trend to pretty up a website and then have it not work for shit? Websites are always a combination of aesthetics and functionality/ease of use. I always come down on the ease-of-use, especially sites like NASCAR were I'm going for information I want (practice results, timing and scoring, lineups, driver info, points standings), not to just idly entertain myself.
The old NASCAR.com wasn't as pretty, but about 192 times more useful. I'm severely afraid that the site will be FUBAR (F'ed Up Beyond All Recognition) at race time and whatever the current version of Track Scanner (which will take me 54 minutes to find and which I paid cash to be able to listen to) will be non-functional. Did I mention I paid money to be able to access it? So, like an insane consumer, I expect to get what I pay for. Sure, stuff goes down now an then, but the issues with NASCAR.com started more than a week ago, so no excuse for having it still FUBAR.
Those are the big three. Oh, and expect about 18 commercials per hour, especially early in the marathon ... er .. race. FOX milks the shit out of their NASCAR broadcasts. I think they paid out the butt for it, so a Festival of Commercials will commence. My Twitter feed lights up with complaints about it, but everyone continues to watch, so don't expect a change anytime soon. As long as ratings are good and there's not clear evidence a change will make them better, nothing will change. Law of TV.