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IRL Investigating Discovery of NASCAR Playbook

Note: below is 100% fiction.

Indy Racing League officials confirmed Thursday that a NASCAR publication was discovered dangerously close to an area used by IRL teams.

IRL officials said unidentified track workers found a NASCAR playbook in the trash outside the garages at the Infineon Raceway in Sonoma, CA.

Rusty Wallace Names Dodge "Official Crash Sponsor"

Note to the easily fooled -- Rusty was in a crash and did thank Dodge afterward, but the rest is made up. Read a real story about the crash here. Former NASCAR champion Rusty Wallace today named Dodge as his "Official Crash Sponsor."

Rusty, who drove to fame in the #2 Dodge Deuce, made the announcement a day after a woman chattering on a cell phone T-boned her Mercedes into Rusty's 2006 Dodge Durango in Cornelius, N.C.

Notes from the 2006 Indy Grand Prix of Sonoma

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Notes taken during the ESPN broadcast of the Indy Grand Prix of Sonoma at Infineon Raceway, Sonoma, CA. on Aug. 27, 2006.

Pressdog's beer of the race is Sierra Nevada Wheat brewed in Chico, CA. Big fan of the wheat. Fruity finish. Light. Fabulous. And, I admit to eating brie. Snooty. Hey, it's a road race. I had a pork tenderloin and a 16-ounce Bud Select at the Knoxville Raceway last night, so don't get the wrong idea about the p-dog. I also wore my jumbo-logoed IRL shirt to the Knoxville track. Sadly, I saw no other IRL shirts thereabouts.

Champ Car Busts Legge for "Foolish Honesty"

Note to gullible: Katherine Legge was put on probation for rough driving at San Jose, but most everything else is made up.

English rookie Katherine Legge was put on probation for "childish, foolish" honesty immediately after the series' race in San Jose July 30, according to league insiders.

In her online diary, Legge admits that she hipchecked Andrew Ranger into the tyres late in the San Jose race, even though she was seven laps down and Ranger was on the lead lap.

Sarah Fisher Represents in the Blogosphere

Our boy Jeff over at My Name is IRL gets Sarah Fisher on record re: her driving universe and the drama therein. Includes a most excellent quote from Sarah on the difference between the IRL and bowling league. I got a real feeling that the drivers may be friendly off the track, but once the helmet goes on driver's brains go into "general agression mixed with episodes of rage" mode.

Pressdog says Sarah Fisher is sidepod worthy (I'd sponsor her in a heartbeat if I had major coin). Check it out.

Champ Car Launches Organization-wide Search for Testicles

Note to the slow-witted. The Paul Tracy quotes below are accurate, but everything else is made up.

A spokesperson for the Bridgestone Presents the Champ Car World Series Powered by Ford (BPCCWSPF) confirmed Wednesday that the organization had launched a full-scale search for a set of balls.

“We know we had some testicles around here somewhere,” said the spokesperson who declined to be named, “We had them out right after the San Jose race (July 30). But now we just seemed to have misplaced them."

Notes from the 2006 CCWS Grand Prix of Denver

Notes taken during the SPEED broadcast of Denver Grand Prix sponsored by Bridgestone on Aug. 13, 2006.

"Under Pressure" montage. Dan pounding steering wheel. Pitting action. Cars going everywhere. Katherine Legge gets air. Lots of drivers walking after the crash. Speedy Dan Clarke kicking his tires after his car roasted. Video of Paul Tracy putting it into climbing gear over Bourdais at Cleveland. Pretty good montage from Champ Car. May be giving ABC/ESPN a run for their money.

 Replay of The Fight in San Jose. Pressure led to the fight, get it? Recap of the season. Bruno Junqueira hasn't had it this year. Michelle Beisner deployed! With Bruno. Bruno feels good. Good track for him.

Notes from the Meijer Indy 300 at Kentucky

Notes taken during the ABC broadcast of the Meijer Indy 300 Presented by Coca-Cola and Secret on Aug. 13, 2006.

pressdog's beer of the race today is Bavaria, an import from the Netherlands, and Spaten Oktoberfest, an import from Munich, Germany. Snooty! Everyone, slam round in honor of the return of Sarah Fisher (right)!

Open with dramatic video of TJ Patrick (Danica's dad) standing almost on the apron during morning practice. TJ appears to be on the cell phone to a NASCAR team. (Kidding. Made the phone part up, but he was standing near the track.) Danica Patrick tries to pit and Vitor gets into her rear end (hey, keep it clean). We got grass flying and Vitor spinning. Shocking that TJ didn't come leaping across the track to pummel Vitor in his still-spinning car.

Jeff Simmons Dishes and Represents on Life in the IRL

The ultra-wired MoneyCJ, kingpin of the most-excellent IRL blog, So. Damn. Indy. has busted through to Jeff Simmons, driver of the Rahal Letterman Racing #17 ethanolmobile. Money put some questions to Jeff who fired back in a candid fashion. Included is this nugget about Jeff's interaction with Danica Patrick:

"I've talked to Danica a lot of times, but after some things I heard she was saying on the radio in Michigan ..." Race to So. Damn. Indy. for the rest of that most-def answer right now!

And everyone rush out and fill up with 10% ethanol-blended fuel (E10). Works great in all cars built after 1980.

Fans Express Relief that Andretti Green Finally Gets Some Much-Needed Cash

Note to the gullible. AGR and Danica did get $21 million from Motorola, but the rest is fiction.

Indy Racing League fans around the country reacted with sighs of relief Wednesday at news that Andretti Green Racing would get $21 million over the next three years.

"Thank God," said one fan. "I was worried that Andretti Green might have to start eating at thee-star restaurants rather than the four-star places. Whew. That was close."