Indianapolis Officials Send Out a Search Party for Champ Car

Note to the feeble: everything below is made up.

Indianapolis Search and Rescue teams were dispatched Saturday on a mission to find the Champ Car World Series.

"We hadn't heard from Champ Car in weeks," said Jennifer Eicklehorn who works two doors down from the Champ Car World Series headquarters in Indianapolis. "It's not like them to miss so much work, so I finally decided to call the authorities."

Initial searches came up empty. "At first we thought maybe Champ Car had fallen at home and couldn't get up," said Toby Steinmetz of the Indianapolis Search and Rescue Task Force. "So eventually we broke down their apartment door but found nothing. No signs of foul play. Nothing. Champ Car just vanished."

The last time Champ Car disappeared authorities eventually learned it was because series boss Keven Kalkhoven spent two months in Antarctica talking to penguins. That led searchers to try asking penguins at the Indianapolis Zoo if they had heard anything through the penguin grapevine, but to no avail.

Champ Car is expected to turn up in Portland on June 10. Sources at Champ Car who asked not to be named said the teams were currently on a "European Press Tour" to promote races in Belgium and the Netherlands. "But I think they're all just getting hammered at some bar in Bloomington, Ind., to be honest with ya."

Authorities said the search would continue, albeit only during breaks in qualifying at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway.

Comments

[James]

Have they tried the morgue yet?

[Harvey Pelovsky]

I was a die-hard CART fan. Although it was totally TG's fault for initiating the split, Champ Car and the way it is being run is a joke.
I have specialized in "turning around" businesses for the last 22 years and the decisions they are making don't look "long term" to me.
I don't particularly care for Tony George either but because of the superior teams in the IRl and the Indy 500 it is time for CC to fold up shop and let the teams go to the IRL.
Otherwise, all of Open Wheel racing (by far the best type of US racing) will just continue to "limp along" and lose fans and have weak teams inhabiting half of their grids.
I now follow the IRL because it appears they at least have "some" momentum. Even they will not keep it up for long with the split. Fans are getting disgusted on both sides.
WAKE UP CALL TO: Kevin Kalkhoven and Tony George. Put your HUGE EGOS aside and save millions of $$!!!!!! DUH!!!!!