Notes Taken During The Airborne Festival of Carbon Fiber at Michigan 2007

Notes taken during the tape-delay ESPN2 broadcast of the Firestone Indy 400 at Michigan International Speedway, Brooklyn (hey, yo), MI on August 5, 2007. (Tape-delay broadcast was August 6.)

Holy start early! I set my tape for 11:30 a.m. Central on Aug. 6 and it started taping 22 laps in. WTF?

OK then. This candle is already lit, but let's reset the starting lineup:

Dario Franchitti, Sam Hornish, Helio Castroneves, Scott Sharp, Dan Wheldon, Tomas Scheckter, Scott Dixon, Tony Kanaan, Danica Patrick, Ed Carpenter, Vitor Miera, Ryan Hunter-Reay, Marco Andretti, Kosuke Matsuura, AJ Foyt IV, Sarah Fisher, Buddy Rice, Darren Manning, Milka Duno, Jon Herb. 20 cars on the grid! Major crowd scene.

pressdog's beer of the race is Killian's Irish Red, some of my favorite brew.

First, a note. I tried to watch the race live on the Indycar.com site, but, true to form, it must have been overrun with traffic and the video kicked me off mid-race. Pretty much happens during every Indy 500 as well. The radio audio stayed good all race, but the video took a dump and then the timing and scoring froze up sporadically. Note to the IRL -- invest some cash in more servers/bigger bandwidth.

Lap 22 - Dario leads. Has led from the start (so I'm told).

Lap 25 -- Dario, Hornish, Catroneves, Dixon, Wheldon, Scheckter, Kanaan, Danica, Sharp, Quattro (!)

Lap 29 -- Yellow yellow yellow. John Herb is into the wall. He was minus 3 laps. Wasn't happening for him today. Spent several laps in the pits. Milkalicious was kicking his ass. (Well, she was ahead of him on the track.) Not good.

Marty Reid, booth guy, says the fewest cautions ever was two and the most was five. We're already at two because the thing started under caution due to wetness. Race was delayed about five hours due to rain. Then the live broadcast was switched to ESPN Classic which an estimated 98 people get. (I could be exaggerating, because I don't get ESPN Classic, and I'm a little bitter.)

Massive pitting coming up. Lap 31 everyone pits except Milka who had pitted on Lap 25.

Marty -- "give a little love" to AJ Foyt IV. (Marty is such a hipster with his "give a little love." Marty may, in fact, have a blog.) Quattro is 10th. Magic! Marty says there is pressure on the pits. You can see it's pretty much hard to pass out there. Riiiiiiight, Marty. Pressure in the pits on a two-mile oval. Sure.

Lap 33 -- One to to until green.

Lap 34 -- GREEN.

Lap 35 -- Scheckter going wide. Booth guy Scott "The Ragin' Canadian" Goodyear reminds us that it's a 73-foot-wide track.

Brienne Pedigo, IndyCar Pit Hotty, reports that Tony Kanaan says, "And I quote, 'his car was understeering like a pig.' " I love when drivers use the word "pig" for their ill-handling cars. Makes me tingly. First time anyone uses "circus music" on air I'll pee myself. Fo sho.

Lap 38 -- We're going three and four wide all over the track. Marco is high on one four-wide pack. Much antacid being consumed in the pits. Hornish is all alone in the lead pack, but Marty says that the Target cars are in "LOCK STEP."

Perma-Tan Pit Guy Jack Arute narrates a video that shows that Sam ALMOST didn't get close enough to his pit wall to get the fuel hose in. ALMOST a tragedy. My viewing is ALMOST enhanced.

Lap 43 -- Marty -- Target Chip Ganassi cars are in LOCK STEP.

Lap 45 -- Arute. Sam's weight jacker is crap. Doesn't work. The car likes to go to the "high life" rather than the low line. (I prefer to go to the High Life myself, Jack. 16 ounces at a time.)

Lap 46 -- Yellow yellow yellow. Milka is Toast. (BAAAA. Get it. Milka Toast? I slay me.) She's coasting. Something is amiss. Not going to make it to the pits so we're yellow.

Much pitting. Dario in. STALLS it. HFS. Dropped him off the jack and he stalled it. All Dario on that one. Refired. Out. 17.6 second stop. Much lamenting. He's going to the back of the field. Comes out 18th. Pretty sure Sarah and Buddy will stay in front of Dario for a good 50 yards when the green waves, if that.

Lap 50 -- Dixon leads.

Lap 51 -- Green. Dixon, Kanaan, Wheldon, Helio, Hornish, Danica, Vitor, Marco, Matsuura (!), Scheckter.

Lap 53 - Someone goes waaaaay low. Danica and Scheckter I think.

Dario has it in Freak Mode. Wings back in the delta and he's super sonic.

Time for Dario Break down:

Lap 51 -- 18th

Lap 52 -- 13th

Lap 53 -- 11th

Lap 54 -- 9th (this is Dario's fastest lap of the race as well)

Lap 55 -- 9th

Lap 56 -- 5th.

Lap 57 -- 2nd.

Ah, yeah, the cars are all so equal out there. Not. And, yeah, precious seconds count in the pits. Or not. When the cars are so unequal, a 17-second pit stop for a front-runner is no big thang.

Lap 56 -- Marty says Ed Carpenter will get a black flag for jumping the start. Last we hear of it. No idea if he got a penalty or what it was or whatever.

Goodyear reminds everyone that there are no fenders out there so this freaky-deaky quarter-inch-apart stuff is pretty high stakes.

Bre -- The mood in the Dario pit is ecstatic. John Anderson (Dario's race boss) puts his arm around Bre and says in an Australian accent "We're in no rush, darling." Dario's mother is here. Sister here from Scotland.

Lap 59 -- Yellow yellow yellow. Helio and Vitor smack together. They're sliding through the infield grass like two kids on the same amusement park ride. Lock-step sliding. Come to rest right together. Helio is already gesturing. Helio gets out of his car in a second and is over to Vitor gesturing. Everyone be on the lookout for fathers and entourage members! This could be Helmeted Smack Down II. Where's Security Chief Charles? Safety guys are there. Between Vitor and Helio. Nobody is going to THROW. Helio is stalking off now. Gesturing. Talking. Cut to Penske. Full of emotion. Not. Penske looks the same always. Jeff of MyNameisIRL thinks Penske might be an android or something.

Helio is just walking back to the pits. Screw the safety car. He's headed for the RV, still talking and gesturing and stomping.

Replays. Goodyear says, "I'm going to call that one an Allstate 50-50 tie." Both are equally to blame.

Security Chief Charles pulls up on a scooter and says something to Helio as he's stomping around back by the RVs. Helio nods. DO NOT mess with Security Chief Charles. He'll go Jet Li on your ass. Probably reminded him he had to go to the infield medical center. Or Charles asked if Helio wanted him to kill all the media.

Pitting. Dario out in P1. Wheldon in. Mario says this reminds him of Homestead Miami where Wheldon charged through the field of allegedly equal cars.

Something's up with  Sam's car. They're basically disassembling it during every pit stop.

Lap 63 -- We've cycled through the pit stops, except for Sam, who goes out and comes in a bunch of times to get random parts replaced. Arute says next week Penske will try to build the car as the race progresses just for the fun of it. (OK, I made that last sentence up). They would still finish no worse than 11th.

Booth guys marvel at Dario's going from 18th to second in six laps. John Anderson on the radio: "That was the drive of the year. That was MAGIC."

Bre -- She asked John Anderson what percentage of Dario's year was luck and what percentage was skill. Anderson said he didn't much believe in luck until this year. Now he says luck is "where preparation meets opportunity."

Arute. With Vitor -- My point of view is that I didn't move and he moved up. I'm sure he'll say it was different. We're both men and have enough experience to analyze what happened and talk about it. Then Helio Sr. jumped him from behind. (Kidding.)  Vitor says the Delphi crew is doing great at fixing everything and keeping everyone's spirits up.

Sam is back out. He's pitted about 10 times. Comes in, pits, gets out in front of the pace car, comes around. Pits again. Gets out in front of the pace car, etc.

Sam on the radio -- "Just tell me what you are thinking about doing so we're on the same page. You can put cross weight into the car, I don't know if anybody is listening to me." Sam sounds pissed. Can you be pissed at The Captain?

Goodyear -- This is the hometown race for Sam. A few hundred fans here. He wans to win (!!).

Marty -- Sam is a different person when he puts on the helmet. Goes from mild mannered to a Natural Born Killer (I'm paraphrasing here.)

Lap 68 -- Still Yellow. Dario on camera -- Been a good year. Big difference from last year is we're showing up with a car that can win. 2005 was a good car but we had horrendous luck.

Darren Manning is in P4. Goodyear gives him a shout out. Dogs and cats reported living together.

FINALLY, restart on lap 70. Green. We're going 3 to 5 wide in places. Whatever works.

Manning fading fast. Indy Car race control has told Tony to pick a line, any line, and stick with it . Blocking? In the IRL? NOOOOOOOO.

Tomas Scheckter is on Dario. Arute -- Dixon and Scheckter are working together to get up front.

Danica and Ed beside each other. May be flipping each other off (kidding).

Bre -- They are very tight-lipped in the Marco pit. They took something off his car during the seven-hour yellow, but won't say what. Any ideas, Scott?

Goodyear estimates they took some of the tunnel wickers off. Less downforce and drag without them. Go faster. Props to Goodyear for deploying his Race Car knowledge. It's amazing that they could stop and take off tunnel wickers when SECONDS COUNT in the pits.

Lap 75 -- Dario, Scheckter, Dixon, Kanaan, Wheldon, Danica, Ed, Marco, Sam, Sharp.

Lap 76 -- Franchitti is going 215, faster than anyone else.

We go to a commercial. When we come back, we have massive pitting. Why?

TV guys finally tell us it's because Sarah Fisher went into the wall. That was on lap 84. Bad video of it. Sarah is in the back, so if she hits the wall, no pictures. Sorry, Sarah. No care center interview for Sarah either. Not that I recall. They talked to her on the radio but TV does not interview anyone who crashes below P10. Company policy.

Marty says Sarah had finished 97.9% of the laps so far this year. First DNF for her. Sarah said on the IMS Radio Network broadcast (props to My King and the posse!)  that something busted on her car and put her ass first into the wall. Strained neck.

Sam is in. Penske is going to change the ride height. Get out in front of the pace car. Come back in for fuel. I think they are going to repaint it one of these first stops as well.

Arute -- Ryan Hunter-Reay had to change helmets in the middle of the race. Pulled ALL of his tear offs off at once. Couldn't see shit. Had to change to a backup helmet. Arute on camera with said helmet. Managed to change helmets and stay on the lead lap, even though precious seconds count in the pits.

Lap 88 Wheldon leads. Yellows in this race seem to take forever. Like 25-minute yellows. Anyone else getting a NASCAR vibe here?

Lap 91. We're green. Three, four, five wide. Whatever it takes.

Lap 94 Dario leads again. That didn't take long. Arute goes into some history lesson about Gil de Farran. My viewing is enhanced.

Lap 100 half way. The race will soon be official so we can stop hearing about how it will be official after 101 and OH MY GOD weather is LOOMING.  Dario, Kanaan, Wheldon, Dixon, Scheckter, Marco, Danica, Sam, Ed, Quatro.

Bre reports AGR has its own meteorologist. Actually a crew guy who specializes. I would not be shocked to know they had a full-time meteorologist on staff -- who wears his cap backwards and is fond of sleeveless T-shirts.

Lap 112 -- Danica's car gets faster as the stint goes on.

Lap 114 -- Yellow yellow yellow.  Manning into the wall ass first. WTF? Just lost it coming around a corner.   A festival of pitting ensues.

Lap 121 -- GREEN.

Lap 125 -- Marty says "if you want to have camera time you have to be in the front five." No shit, Marty. You could say that about EVERY race.

Lap 130 -- The If the Race Ends Now graphic which means exactly nothing. The race ain't going to end now. Next ESPN will put up the "If Christ Returns Now" graphic. My viewing is so enhanced.

Marty says -- Still a long way to go in this one. Thank you, Marty.

Goodyear says there is a lot of weaving and dicing.

Lap 133 -- Manning out of the care center. Says when he went back first into the wall, his knees came up and took out the steering wheel. Got a couple of staples in his knees to close the gash. "At least AJ will be proud of me because I've got some metal in my body now." HAR. I like Manning. Funny guy. Said Marco went in front of him (not a chop, just got in front of him on the race groove), took the air off his front wings and that was it.

Danica's Go-Daddy commercial. I gotta say, they made Danica look fat in that white, long-sleeved T. Seriously. You gotta go some to make Danica look fat but Go Daddy did it.

Lap 139 -- Replay. Scheckter gets fishy as someone drives in front of him. Goodyear -- "That's a moment."

Bre -- Danica. Kim Greene instructs her to help push Dario (perhaps Tony) around the race track. Last time she did that she lost air and lost a bunch of spots. See if it happens again.

Danica is in LOCK STEP with someone.

Lap 143 -- HOLY SHIT! Dario is airborne. WTMF? We got a Scot in the air. Marty -- "LOOK OUT. FRANCHITTI IS AIRBORNE" He's up there for about five minutes. Car just sort of casually flips around up there. Dario and Wheldon got together and Dario got LAUNCHED. Flittering like a kite and now landing right in front of Dixon. BAM, Dixon t-bones the tumbling Dario on one hop and kicks him back up into the air and into Quattro as well. Yellow yellow yellow. Dario's car is flipping down the track like a freshly beheaded chicken. We got cars on the binders, locking them up. Shit everywhere. It's raining carbon fiber. Nasty video of the crash from IndyCar.com here.

Marty -- "Right now, folks, think good thoughts." Word, Marty.

Dario comes to rest inverted. Scheckter is toast. Sam is toast. Wheldon, Quattro. Helmeted Sam is helping the safety guys flip Dario back over. He's upright again. The roll hoop is trashed. Dario's head is still attached. He's climbing out. He's OK. Insane.

Arute with Scheckter. Scariest stuff he's ever seen. Dario and Dan got together and next thing he knew Dario was 15 feet in the air.

Dario, Dan, Sam, Ed, Quattro, Dixon all involved in the crash.

We're down to 7 on the track. Buddy Rice (seventh) suddenly gets air.  Many replays.

Goodyear. I've been airborne in a car and it's a very eerie thing because it's so quiet when you are in the air. Then you come down and it's a flurry of noise. Killer addition, Scott. Seriously. Props for the driver's perspective of being AIRBORNE. Replay. Dixon coming into it. On the binders, and now he's just a passenger.

Lap 147 -- Everyone pits. Much pitting. Bre- Danica missed her pit box by a touch so they had trouble changing the left front. Since seconds count in the pits, she's screwed for the race ... er not.

Lap 150 (insert about an hour of pitting and talking about pit strategy and topping off here.) Notable in here is a replay of last year's Danica Stomping Fit from Michigan where she ran out of gas very late, pulled it over, stormed down the track, gave her helmet to my homey and former RLR PR king Brent Maurer who got MONSTER air. But they don't show Brent on the replay. Bogus!

Also in here Dario gets interviewed. Looks like he's just back from the pub. Wheldon came up a bit. I came down a bit. We touched. Next thing I know I was upside down 30 foot in the air. That's not good. I landed on Scott. Just glad nobody is hurt. I think when I stopped I realized I was all in one piece and I couldn't believe it. I still can't believe it.

Jack says something about how something on Danica's front wing can become like a "gurney flap" if you don't have it taped. Dude. Raise your hand right now if you know what a gurney flap is. Four people. Next Jack will be talking about the Fizter valve and saying "it's all ball bearings these days."

Quattro comes back out for some laps. Dixon comes back out for some laps. Dixon had an estimated 76 guys working on his car. About five times the entire DRR team. He gets one lap or so he'll finish in front of Dario. Sam out too for some token laps.

Lap 171 -- We got ourselves a 29-lap trophy dash and we are finally GREEN. Immediately about four wide. Marco leads. Sharp second.

Marco jumped the start. Race control is going to crack down and make him give up a couple of the six spots he got by jumping the restart. The IRON HAND OF JUSTICE is in the house.

Goodyear -- Will he have to fall back or get a drive through (is that a serious question, Scott? An AGR car get a drive through with 30 to go for jumping the restart? Hahahahahahaha.) After Helio got about a half lap jump on the start at Watkins Glen, sans penalty, don't be shocked if everyone is ON IT in turn two.

Goodyear -- Word is all he had to do is fall back. Not sure he fell all the way back in back of the cars he passed on the restart. Not sure that's quite right. (It ain't, Scott.)

Lap 175 -- Kanaan, Marco, Sharp, Danica, Hunter-Raey, Matsuura, Rice. Look for Sir Blocks-a-Lot (Sharp) to make his ass wider than a regular customer at a buffet.

Jack is telling us that Sharp has a faulty mirror. Yeah, that's going to play a MAJOR role in this race.

Dixon did enough laps to get 9th and then pulled off again.

Danica's sister, Brooke, gets major air. She looks just like Danica. Blonde Danica. Lock step. 19 to go. The front five are basically swapping positions all the time.

Sister cam repeatedly here. Arute -- Danica has a right rear going down. Will have to pit.

Game over for Danica. Insert profanities inside Danica's helmet. Danica on the radio "this is the nightmare of my life. I cannot believe it. I cannot believe it."  Marty -- Well, her professional life, perhaps. (Nice perspective there, Marty. Props.) Brooke is not happy either. Danica pits. Goes a lap down.

Lap 190 -- Kanaan, Marco, Sharp, Matsuura, Rice, Hunter-Raey, Danica.

Kanaan stays low. Hugging the white line. Shades of Texas and Nashville and Iowa. Stay low and win. Marco will have to go around high to beat him and he can't make it stick in three and four. Gets even in the back straight and then has to fall back in 3 and four. This deal is done unless Tony has brain lock or Marco is setting him up.

Five to go. Four to go. Three to go. White flag. Kanaan wins. Marco just couldn't make it stick.

Kanann, Marco, Sharp, Matsuura, Buddy, Hunter-Reay, Danica, Quattro, Hornish, Dixon, Scheckter, Wheldon, Dario, Ed, Manning, Sarah, Helio, Vitor, Duno, Herb.

Broadcast is CUT OFF so we can get to the NASCAR replay. Tune in for the Kentucky race on Aug. 11 at 6:30 p.m. Eastern on ESPN 2 and it better not EFFING rain.

Added 8/8/07: Found a post-race interview of Danica by Bre on rpm.espn.com:

Danica: "I'm so mad. Of course I'm going to think of myself first, you know.  I thought that was my chance to win. I was like, 80% sure that was me. I could not believe when they told me my right rear was going down. I couldn't believe it." What about the Dario deal? "I can't say on air exactly what I said into the radio when I saw that" ... (Couldn't win so) "Instead I tried to help Kosuke to get by Sharp at the end because I didn't want Sharp to get the points, but, that's life."

Comments

[Gary Patrick]

Great "Fletch" reference. My reading was enhanced!

[Dale Nixon]

I was conscious and wincing every time Marty Reid said "lockstep" which was pretty much each lap of a Penske, Ganassi or AGR car.

Also, true story, I messed with Charles in Kansas a few years back and lived to tell about it. Standing on the grid with an empty helmet bag while driver is strapped into car; whaddya THINK I'm doing there...

[My Name Is IRL]

For the rest of my life those graphics will now be known as "If Christ Returns Now" - no matter what the sport. I think I burst a lung laughing at that one.

And they said the AGR weatherman is Paul Page's son. I am totally not making that up.

[The American Mutt]

Having been at the race, and witnessed first hand, a bit of clarifying. I believe John Herb had some engine issues that kept him in the pits long during the first 22 laps. Milka did not in fact do better. Just sayin'.

[pressdog]

Yes. Thank you, Gary. I was hoping hard someone would get the fitzer valve and ball bearings bit.

[gary patrick]

Too bad you didn't see the live broadcast. Princess Sparkle Pony and Scott "Not So" Sharp each took a verbal jab or two at the other in their interviews. Funniest was when her highness said that when she went back out a lap down near the end, she was trying to push Kosuke past Sharp because she "didn't want him to get the points!"

[MoneyCJ]

My DAY is enhanced after reading this, homes.

[pressdog]

It is too bad. I was able to reconnect to the online video by the end of the race and saw them interviewing PSP. I was hoping to catch up with it on the replay, but ESPN2 chopped it off on the cool-down laps. She looked upset on the soundless online video, of course. Hard to blame her. I don't think Sir Blocks-a-lot is a big driver favorite, but neither is the Sparkler. I'd rather come up on Danica on the track and try to pass her than Mr. Makes-Himself-Wide. Danica must really dislike Sharp if she was trying to help the Sofa King.

[Sue]

PSP dislikes everyone. Nobody will get off her track when she demands it.

[Nan]

I believe you have mis-identified the valve in question. Anyone with the sense to understand the importance of ball bearings these days would also correctly identify the "Fetzer" valve (or perhaps even Phetzer). And I'm thinking maybe we could use a few more gauze pads in those pits. Just sayin...

[ramblinman]

Lock step sliding, if Christ Returns Now, fitzer valves and ball bearings. My viewing is way enhanced. Shame you didn't catch the late interviews p-dog. Danica was literally crying about this would've been her win if not for the flat tire. Sharp was correct in saying that neither he nor Danica had enough for Marco and Tony. She was all set for a third place finish (out of about 7 cars running). Yet she (and little sister) were hissy, pissy, and crying. All while Dario (lucky to be alive), Dixon, Wheldon, and Tomas seem to be A-okay. Now they each had a shot at winning, and not whining. Great blog, dog!

[OneCylinderDown]

Always like your abilities to dissect the broadcasts, but this may be your best yet. The "If Christ Returns Now" graphic, Sir Blocks-A-Lot, PSP and sister cam, all classics, and all because they're absoluetly true!

The only thing worse than a boring race is all the tricks they pull to try to make any race more important/more exciting/more anything rather than letting the product speak for itself and covering what's going on accurately and fairly. I learn more about the race reading pressdog than watching ABC/ESPN and I know that pressdog will call out every spade. All ABC/ESPN end up doing is insulting everyone whose watching, provided they have half a brain.

I don't know what was harder to believe, Dario staying in the air that long, Princess Sparkle Pony actually thinking she would win if it weren't for the tire problem, or that Scott Goodyear actually said something insightful on the broadcast. (After typing that, I've think I've got to go with Goodyear.)

[pressdog]

Well, thanking you very muchly, OneCylinderDown. First, let's always remember that the brilliant nick-name, Princess Sparkle Pony, came from my boy, Money CJ. Second, you gotta watch the races on TV (if you can't get to the track). I find the broadcasts very enjoyable. Seriously. The broadcast team has a tough job. The whole "CUT TO THE RELATIVES IN THE PITS" thing gets a little old, but still ... The Sparkler may have had a chance at the end. She got stronger as the stint went on. Might have pulled it off. It would have been REALLY interesting to see if Kanaan was leading, would he have lifted to let PSP win. I believe he allegedly pulled the same move to let Dario win last year. I could see it happening, sadly.