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Paul Tracy Gets Hosed

Props to my boy Johnny at LiveFastRacing.com for shooting me word that Paul "Hold Onto Your Hollyhocks" Tracy is out of a ride. Gerry Forsythe has pulled the yellow lever and ejected from the new CHIRL. Eject-eject-eject. Watch the canopy on the way out. Robin Miller has the story here.

The IndyCar series NEEDS Paul Tracy because they need the story line. Tracy returns to Indy to avenge his controversial loss to Helio Castroneves. Champ Car's bad boy coming over to rip and snort in the IndyCar Series. Paul Tracy meets Danica Patrick. OMG, doesn't get much better than that.

The guy was willing to put on a wrestling mask going into Montreal after he said some things that made French Canadians angry. The guy knows how to work it for the the publicity. Hope Paul has enough cash to buy a ride with someone.

Racing Yankee Imperialist May Be Forced to Speak Espanol

Race officials in the yankee imperialist U.S. fear that Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez's battle against U.S. lingual "imperialism" may have them soon reaching for the Berlitz Spanish-Made-Easy CDs.

On Wednesday, 100% real news reports gave accounts of Chavez's attempt to cleanse Spanish spoken in his country of any Americanisms. The government hopes to wean employees from words like "stuff" ("equipo" is preferred), "marketing" ("mercadeo") and "password" ("contrasena").

Sun Freezes, Falls from Sky

Tony George and Kevin Kalkhoven conjure memories of Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin and PLO Chairman Yasser Arafat shaking hands on the White House lawn in September 13, 1993 (right) after a split-mending press conference in Homestead Wednesday.

Sarah Fisher is The Boss

USA Today has a little story today on Sarah Fisher busting out as a team owner. Unfortunately, she's not calling her company Flying Fish Racing. Opportunity lost.

Sarah is expected to have a press conference today at Homestead with Janet Guthrie and Lyn St. James in the house. Danica Patrick is not scheduled to appear. Sarah probably couldn't afford Danica's appearance fees.

I also don't think Sarah will embrace Danica's pioneering beaver-based marketing strategy (actually, I hope to God she doesn't). Very sadly, Sarah's unwillingness to do any beaver talk probably has a lot to do with her just running a partial season this year.

I'm disappointed that women who hooch it up are rewarded in the American marketplace, but that's just reality. Keep your clothes on, Sarah! My daughters need a role model.

USA Today story here.There's also an extendo story in the paper version of today's USA Today.

Update: Read the Sarah PC (press conference) transcript here courtesy Indycar.com.

The End ... is the Beginning

It's over. About time. Ladies and gentlemen, start your drinking.

Tony George's Life Becoming a Runaway Verizon Ad

Tony George is expected in court today to seek an injunction over what he describes as "a bad spoof of the Verizon Network ad."

"I came out of a restaurant Thursday and there were about 121 people standing there, choppers hovering, boom trucks and someone in the front that resembled that little Verizon dude," George reportedly said. "But it turned out to be Curt Cavin in disguise. This is getting weird."

Katherine Legge Pulls the Yellow Lever

Katherine Legge has pulled the ejector lever on Champ Car -- or whatever it will be, eventually, if at all.

Ingolstadt -- AUDI AG targets the successful defence of the DTM championship title with an interesting and strong mix of big names and young talented drivers. Oliver Jarvis (GB/24), Katherine Legge (GB/27) and Markus Winkelhock (D/27) have secured the three remaining cockpits within the Audi factory team for which racing drivers from around the world were in contention.

Good luck, Katherine. Sounds like a sweet ride. Big ups to Jeffy at MyNameIsIRL.com for making me aware.  Read all about it here.

Merger Talks Stalled over Insider Fate

A merger press conference originally planned for Thursday has been pushed back to Friday "if at all" as the parties squabble over the fate of Arni the Indy Insider.

The Insider (above), who is huge in Japan, entertained IndyCar fans with off-beat humor and YouTube antics throughout 2007. Arni generally posted a YouTube video before or after each race weekend. The videos became quite popular with hard-core fans who had any humor in them at all.

Champ Car Forum Moderators Mull Traffic Concerns

With rumors of Champ Car's demise growing stronger every day, Champ Car-related forums report spikes in traffic from what they call "gawkers and other curiosity seekers"

"We got lots of people driving through, lurking ... it's kind of like the parade of people who come out to survey damage from a tornado or a train wreck," said one Champ Car forum poster.

Peace in our time?

Robin Miller says so:

Miller says Merger is a Done Deal.