Notes Taken During the 2008 IndyCar Race at Nashville

Notes taken during the ESPN telecast of the Firestone Indy 200 at Nashville Superspeedway on July 12, 2008.

Welcome to Nashvul where booth guy Marty Reid says we are in hurry-up mode because the rain may be inbound. So let's just get to the important stuff ...

pressdog beer of the race is Franziskaner Weissbier, a Munich wheat imported from said city and "brewed in full accordance with the Bavarian "purity law" of 1516. My drinking is enhanced. A little warm up for the German F1 race which I know you'll all tune in for on July 20.

Vince Welch, pit stallion, says Danica Patrick is comfortable with her car. She thinks she may get win number 2.

I say Nashville is an oval street race where you get in front, stay in the groove and win. Passing is done in the pits and on restarts (as in a street race) and viewing is almost never enhanced at this track. Jussayin ...

Points recap -- Scott Dixon has 370 and leads Helio Castroneves by 48. Dan Wheldon is 59 back. Tony Kanaan is 67 back and Marco Andretti is 129 "markers" back. Every time Marty Reid talks about points he uses the word "markers." Every time.

Dan Ellis, goaltender for the Nashville Predators, who used to play for the Triple-A hockey Iowa Stars in Des Moines, Iowa (I swear), is the race grand marshal and gives us The Command: Drivers, start your engines.

Darren Manning has no air jacks so they will have to manually jack it up and down at the race. Fabulous. Brace for the 15-second pit stops.

Larry Curry is now with Dreyer and Reinbold Racing. Not sure if he left Marty Roth's Flying Canadian Circus on his own or got shown the door.

EJ Viso has the mumps. Him and the team are quarantined. Marty says something like "100-plus were tested here" and the rest have to sweat it out until some time in July. ?? No idea. It might have been a good plan to invest 45 seconds into clarifying that.

Cue the hat (running order at the top). Cheers to the graphics-producing B Unit. I hope they're actually drinking during this race. Maybe we'll at least get some entertaining graphics. (Kidding. Don't drink and broadcast, kids.)

Starting lineup: Helio Castroneves, Danica, Hideki Mutoh, Ryan Hunter-Reay, Scott Dixon, Dan Wheldon, Tony Kanaan, Ed Carpenter, Ryan Briscoe, Bobby Rahal, Marco Andretti, Buddy Rice, Justin Wilson, Will Power, Vitor Meira, Milka Duno, Oriol Servia, Enrique Bernoldi, Marty Roth, AJ Foyt IV, Bruno Junqueira, Jaime Camara.

Vince -- Ryan Hunter-Reay was in New York with Izod, the new official merchandise sponsor people. Been struggling with the car since he got back, but got it sorted for qualifying and is P4. Thinks this could be win number 2.

Marco Andretti drove in an ALMS race earlier in the day and choppered in for this race. Video of him arriving. My boy Rob Cleveland gets MONSTER HD air. Rob's head is life sized on my HD screen. He's driving the golf cart and looking stylish. He drives golf carts for Marco, holds doors for Marco, a PR guy's work is never done. 

Brienne Pedigo, IndyCar Pit Hotty, says Graham Rahal's goal is to finish. Needs to finish races.

Scott Goodyear, booth color guy, on the keys to the race -- track is very bumpy and very hard to get your car to work well. Tough to pass. All about tack position. Watch for "segment consistency" which means the car handles the same throughout the fuel run.

Let's get 'er two wide and light this candle .... we're green-green-green.

IRL tradition lives -- FUGLY start. Single file at the line. Tough to blame the drivers since two-wide into a corner at Nashville means Wall City for the person on the outside. Marty says "the high line is just not there."

Lap 3 -- yellow yellow yellow. Briscoe and Marco are toast. We got cars swerving through the grass in an N-word fashion trying to avoid the sliding wrecks. Marco is mashed and Briscoe's rear wing is all akimbo. Mike Andretti gets air with the head shake. Arute says Briscoe is coming in for four tires and go get a look at the damage and get back out. Seriously, Jack? That surprises me. Briscoe pits, but immediately chucks his steering wheel on to the hood. Not happy.

Replay -- Side-by-side, Marco inside and he loses the rear, saves it for a second but then gets into Briscoe who was minding his own business going for the pass. Sliding wrecks cause other cars to go to evasive maneuver Tango William Sierra to avoid them. Tight shot of Briscoe in the pit being unhappy.

Down to Jack with Briscoe -- Shame. Can't catch a break. Spun unexpectedly on Marco. Nothing I could do.

Helio may have gotten too close to the Festival of Carbon Fiber and hit some day-bree. But first, over to Marco. Just got loose. Feel bad for Briscoe. Might have saved it if he wasn't there but no.

Replay of Helio getting some carbon fiber spanking off his front wing. Insert dramatic music here. WILL IT SPELL THE END FOR HELIO?

Lap 11 (a scant eight-lap yellow to clean up the carbon fiber confetti. Not bad. We may be showing a bit more alacrity on the yellows). We're green. Danica says Welcome to the Block Party to Dixon. Booth guys are pretty sure Danica used up one of her 19 blocking warnings on that one. Yep, Race Control is on the radio to Danica telling her to pick a line, any line.

Lap 13 -- Goodyear says Danica needs to work on her restarts. Vince reports that Tony has had three DNFs in a row here at Nashvul (must have tried to actually pass someone on the track. MISTAKE.)

Lap 15 -- Tony under Mutoh. Insert a 33-lap festival of lock step holding station here (laps 11 through 44 feature no changes a'tall in the top three). Plenty of time to get another beer.

Lap 15 -- Helio, Danica, Dixon, Mutoh, Tony, RHR, Wheldon, Ed, Vitor, Rahal.

Lap 18 -- Jack says Dixon he feels like his having trouble with the gears. INSERT DRAMATIC MUSIC HERE.

Holding station up front.

Lap 19 -- Since this race is a parade at this point, we need to flash back to other races that were actually interesting; so let's take a look back at Dixon's supreme brain freeze at Watkins Glen wherein he spun warming the tires under yellow and took out Briscoe. Briscoe = Hapless. I got an idea, let's just replay the entire Watkins Glen race to keep me from slumbering through this one-groover.

Lap 21 -- Helio is ahead by .6. Lockstep-a-thon. Jack reports that Tim Cindric and Helio are comedic on the radio. They love to chortle. A regular Lewis and Martin. Here I'm a little distressed because if this race gets as interesting as watching corn grow (corn fact: it grows up to four inches A DAY during peak growing season, but still, not that thrilling) then Jack may figure he needs to be the entertainment and none of us want that. Look for Shakespearian references and obscure horse-racing analogies soon. Down to Jack for some card tricks to pass the time! Shudder.

Lap 30 -- Wild excitement breaks out on the track as Helio laps Jaime Camara.

Lap 30 -- Helio, Danica, Dixon, Tony, Mutoh, RHR, Wheldon, Ed, Vitor, Rahal.

Lap 32 -- Goodyear says Helio's car doesn't seem to like the dirty air  when it comes up on another car. Again, since we got nothing going at the current race, let's flash back to Watkins Glen wherein Helio tried to open the hood of his car after running off during practice. Borrows some tools from some fans (who must have been camping nearby or just carry tools with them all the time) and tries to take off the engine cover.

Back to Nashville. Helio radios that he's working to stay alive here (or something similar. Here he speaks for fans trying to watch this race as well) and the pit says "weather is coming."

Down to meteorologist Jack Arute who says drivers are trying to stretch their fuel run because there the weather radar has (Arute emphasis) A LOT OF RED IN IT.

The weather. The weather is going to provide the entertainment tonight. Dude. 

Lap 37 -- Vince says RHR's first win came soon after he found out his mother, Lidia, has cancer. Called her from victory lane. Farklempt.

Replay of Bobby Rahal on the radio pre-race. "All right, babe .. real smart, strong and let's go have a good race, huh babe? Bring it home again, just like last week."

Babe, I got you babe.

Cue Sonny and Cher!

HER: They say we're young and we don't know
We won't find out until we grow
HIM: Well I don't know if all that's true
'Cause you got me, and baby I got you

HIM: Babe
BOTH: I got you babe
I got you babe.

Even a Sonny and Cher medley might move the entertainment meter on this race.

Lap 41 -- Marty: Nothing has really changed up front. (Or in the middle, or rear, Marty). Goodyear reminds us it's a one-lane race track. We know, Scott, given our extreme level of viewing enhancement watching the Holding Station Fest while viewing replays of Watkins Glen thrown in to try to stave off a 0.0 TV rating.

Lap 42 -- Apparently hypnotized by following Helio for 33 laps, Danica actually attempts to pass Mr. Neves only to have Helio throw her a festive double block party, complete with cole slaw and "WELCOME DANICA" banner. Helio probably figures he'll use one of his estimated 8 warnings and make himself wide for Danica. Goodyear -- That wasn't just a little bit, that was like moving over for a bus stop. (??) Marty says Helio has, in fact, used up one of his warning markers.

OMG. Helio must be thinking he totally dodged a bullet there. Blocked and only got a warning? What are the odds of that? (Just about 100%!) He's so incredibly fortunate that he didn't get penalized since the IRL only allows you seven to ten blocks per driver per race!

Meanwhile, as a reward for being foolish enough to try to pass on a one-groove track where blocking is allowed, Danica loses mo and gets inhaled by Dixon and Tony. That'll teach her to not hold station.

Lap 45 -- Helio, Dixon, Tony, Danica, Mutoh, Wheldon, RHR, Ed, Vitor, Rahal.

Lap 54 -- Dixon under Helio for the lead. Yes. I'm jolted out of my slumber by a pass for the lead on the track. Tony and Danica follow Dixon under. Helio goes from first to fourth. Dude, if you get even slightly high on this track, you lose about seven spots, 'cause there's no grip a'tall up there. ZERO. DO NOT GO HIGH, EVER, FOR ANY REASON.

Lap 57 -- Danica kicks off the festival of pitting. 7.5-second stop and nobody dies. Dixon stays out as others pit. Vince says Tony reports understeer and zero grip. (Join the club, Chopper.) Here it would have been kind of interesting to watch Manning pit to see how it goes when you have no air jack in the car a'tall. But, ah, no. 

Lap 62 -- Dixon pits. 7.6 seconds. Oriol Servia briefly leads as we cycle. Bernaldi is in, going very slow on the pit road. Marty thinks he may have run it dry. I think he's BLOWN up, SIR! I expect a 12 lap caution to beak out here any second for someone potentially having difficulty. BUT NO, the track stays green. OMG. Bernaldi is going about 45 on the pit road, not in anyone's way and we do not go yellow. Dogs and cats contemplate living together.

Extreme free fall! Bruno goes from 4th to 16th during a pit stop.

Lap 67 -- Goodyear -- Even though this is called a superspeedway and is 1.33 miles long, it drives like a much shorter tack due to the bumps and the lack of grip and the single groovedness.

Servia pits from the lead! at Lap 68. He topped off during the Briscoe-Andretti yellow so could stay out longer.

KV Tech PR person stands atop the pit wall and spins an umbrella so Oriol knows where to go. She gets great air. Oriol is in. Holy Extendo Stop! 18-second pit stop on camera. Vince says the air gun on one of the front wheels got stuck on the nut. Sha. Oriol out in 15th and lost a lap.

Great shot of the Musco lights which are made by a company based in Oskaloose, Iowa. True story! Vitor has gone from 15th to fifth.

We're back out and back into the festival of lock step. The prime passing opportunity (pit stops) is over so feel free to browse a magazine. Marty says weather is approaching (either that or a cloud of locusts. I hear they look similar on radar). Jack says Mike Hull, Dixon strategy dude, is plugged into the radar as are all the pit bosses. Dixon is conserving fuel -- not convinced it's not going the full 200. (Or maybe they are conserving fuel to stay out until it rains. Never know.)

Brie -- Vitor is fourth. Started 15th. Panther car is feeling good.

Lap 75 -- Dixon, Kanaan, Danica, Vitor, Wheldon, Helio, RHR, Ed, Rice, Manning. I wonder if Manning's air jacks work because he pitted from 10th and came out 15th. (Shout out to the IRL lap chart creators!) ABC must think it's none of our business, though, since we gotta keep our eyes on the lock step fest up front.

Lap 83 -- I notice here that AJ4 is about 37 laps down and wonder why. You'd think with this kind of race, where the action on the track consists of everyone following everyone as on a one-lane Interstate highway, TV would be able to tell us when cars blow up and stuff. Again, none of your business, Mr. Viewer. Where would they fit in the old race flashbacks if we squandered valuable air time talking about AJ4 being -37, smarty pants? Go back to your magazine.

Goodyear says Dixon is slower in 1 and 2 so Tone may try to make his move into or out of there. (JUST DO NOT GO HIGH INTO A CORNER, Tony.)

Miera Watkins Glen replay (again, flashing back to a race that was actually interesting). Shows him getting hip checked into the tires by EJ Viso who Marty says has the mumps but last week had the bumps. HAR. Much gesturing from Vitor in the car and on the track. Welcome back to Nashville where Vitor is working on Danica. Should be able to pass her in about 50 laps or so.

Marty says the race has "sort of stabilized." Yes, in the sense that drying concrete "stabilizes."

We go side-by-side right as Kanaan passes for the lead. Replays. Uses Moraes as a bit of a pick and gets under Dixon. Thank God for backmarkers. Without them we'd all be snoring.

There are 10 cars on the lead lap.

Lap 100 -- yellow yellow yellow. RHR is into the WALL. Bobby Rahal gets air. Babe! I know it's true we ain't got it all / look out baby, I'm in the wall. Replay. RHR tries to go to the high side of Will Power who is clearly reconsidering his agreement to race on ovals. Power going N-word speed and Rahal just shoots around him high and there is no grip a'tall. Goodyear says "then you're just a passenger." YES.

Pits are open. Marty says everyone holds station off pit road. Again, the pits seem to open up a little bit faster this race. Maybe the IRL has heard the complaints of 19-lap yellows.

Lap 106 -- Vitor is hoping the rain stays away. ABC does the Who's Your Spotter segment which is kind of like the Newlywed Game yet far less entertaining where the couple sit there and tell funny stories about each other. Except this time Poncho Carter sneers out some story about thinking Vitor was some "snot-nosed kid from Brazil" when they first met. Viewing enhanced! What a joyful expression of appreciation! Paraphrase -- Vitor wasn't the pun-ass puke I thought he would be. Can you feel the love in the room? I can feel it, Mr. Snot Nose! I'm certainly looking forward to the one where Milka and her Spotter of the Race sit down for some quippiness!

Meanwhile, it looks like something out of the Wizard of Oz in the background. Aunty Em! The storm is coming.

Lap 107 -- Brie with RHR. Will Power came out of the back straight and just parked it. Had two choices -- get on the brakes and lose the back end or try to go high. Chose B. Can't wait to get back to Mid-Ohio next week. (At this point, RHR, neither can I.)

Lap 110 -- GREEN. Vitor looks at Danica for third, but the prime passing opportunity (restart) in this road course oval is GONE, so he'll just have to lock step it and bust out the iPod.

Lap 113 -- Dixon is .7 behind Tony. Arute and Mike Hull (the pit reporters are getting so much air this week the union might file for some kind of bonus money) is part Doctor Phil and gives info to Dixon about who's doing what. We listen in. Viewing enhanced as Hull tells Dixon who's loose, etc. Maybe Hull can actually call the race for TV as well.

Marty throws it down to the pit guys in roughly the same way all the time, "(PIT PERSON), you've got more?" Vince -- Dixon told him earlier that mid-way through any race he knows he's going to have to deal with Tony.

Lap 117 -- Goodyear -- Tony had a short fill last time. Didn't get the full 22. Vince says Tony's people claim they topped him off with 15 gallons, which filled it all the way up. Has as much as anyone. Arute chimes in that everyone filled the tank.

They may be taking the liberty of lying to the pit guys too. You never know. Hull on the radio -- We don't think we'll get to the end of the fuel run due to weather.

Lap 127 -- 10 on the lead lap. ABC goes up to speed (down the top 10). Jack says Dixon is "mired" in second place. Poor bastard! MIRED in second. Stuck there. The horror of it all.

Danica reports via radio she saw lightning. Manning on video -- talks about how AJ Foyt can't understand a word I'm saying and they kid each other about talking funny all the time. AJ is not at the race due to cataract surgery. ABC is clearly using up any and all packages and montages during this locksteptococus outbreak.

Lap 135 -- Kanaan, Dixon, Danica, Vitor, Helio, Ed, Wheldon, Manning, Rice, Power.

Lap 139 -- yellow yellow yellow. Rain. Sprinkles. Goodyear doesn't see anyone getting around Tony for the rest of the race. Replays of Danica going high to get around Wilson. There is no grip a'tall up there! Rather than put it in the wall like RHR, Danica gets out of it and gets inhaled by Vitor and Helio. 

Race control rules that Helio passed Danica just after the yellow came out so they give her back one spot. Brie with John Barnes of Panther. Says they want to win. Want to go another 60 laps. Have gained position every time in the pits.

Arute -- Hull is glad Dixon came in a few laps ago. Have to race like it's going 200. (HAR. Hope Jack doesn't believe that line.) Jack asks Hull if Dixon loses stability when he gets close to another car. Hull says Dixon wants to finish first or second. Arute -- Scott, Marty, I like it when a guy doesn't answer the question. Goodyear -- Yeah, that was a pretty big avoidance. I don't blame Mike for not giving away the insider info because as Goodyear points out, someone monitors the broadcasts for each team and passes on tidbits, but why don't ya just say "I'm not going to tell you that, Jack."?

Lap 145 -- Arute says he has a confidential source in the pit that says it's true, Dixon loses stability when he gets close to another car. Oh Jack has his sources. Never you mind who they are. Maybe he can find a source to tell him why blocking is allowed in the IRL and why we go yellow for spins with no contact.

Nashville Dixon Wins replays. Pits are open. For some strange reason Tony pits from the lead. Dixon and Wheldon stay out. AGR must be convinced that they'll run out of fuel before it starts pouring. Arute -- Target laid out there stuff but had no intention of coming in so they "snookered" the rest of them. Vince says Tony can now make it to the end and is gambling it won't rain.

But that's odd given that Jack has been telling us about the angry necklace of Weather Death that's surrounding the track all night and the fact that it was kind of sprinkling when they came in. Vitor is now 7th.

Lap 151 -- restart coming ... NO. Waved off. We're all professionals here. I think Helio jumped the gun. Let's try again. Lap 152 -- green. OK, I gotta say, to me it looked like Dixon (leader on the restart) went fast, then slowed down and then went fast again coming to the start. Accordion effect! That's how it looked to me. And, if so, it's kinda bush. Just calling them like I see 'em.

Danica inhaled high on the restart by Helio who stays high and motors passed Tony as well almost touching and then dives under Moraes who is a lap down. Ultra ballsy move. Goodyear says he thinks Tony was surprised by his boyfriend from his carting days. HELLO. I think Scott meant to get a space in there, boy friend or go with boyhood friend. Maybe that's why Helio is such a good dancer. KIDDING. Come on, just joshing. Simmer down.

Lap 153 -- Helio almost puts it sideways. Big moment. Many replays of Helio going outside Danica and Tony on one of the few chances to pass (restarts).

Lap 155 -- Arute says the weather radar is an angry mass "filled with magenta, red and orange." If he says "shall I compare thee to a summer's eve .." I'm out of here. Hull thinks weather is coming before the fuel runs dry. Marty says Mike Hull will be either a genius or a goat.

Lap 160 -- Dixon, Wheldon, Helio, Tony, Danica, Vitor, Rice, Ed, Manning, Moraes.

Lap 165 --  yellow yellow yellow. Let's go for hero, because here comes the rain. Marty says they estimate Dan Wheldon and Scott Dixon had about eight more laps of green-track fuel onboard. Big rain is stunning in HD. Arute says Dixon's pit was doing a rain dance before the rain and happy when it came. No video of said dance, though. 7-11 camp replays of chagrin and a pit crew dude tossing his gloves. Goodyear predicts the 7-11 team knows by the look of the radar we're going to soak this track and that will be that.

Restart bunch up replays. Marty says we haven't lost the track yet.

Lap 171 -- we have now, because we're red red red. The rare red flag is out. Everyone parks on pit road. Raining like a cow pissing on a flat rock out there now. Drivers out of cars.

Indy Lights Replay. Ana Beatriz becomes the first woman to win in Indy Lights. TJ Patrick reportedly seen pouring sugar into her fuel tank. (KIDDING!).

Arute with Helio -- "The beauty of being with the winner of the Dances with the Stars campaign is you get your own Team Penske umbrella ..." YOU KNEW the Dances with the Stars references was coming. Just knew it. Helio talks about the move. He and Tony are flying back together. Arute says something like you know they'll have their trays and seats in the full upright position. (???) Clearly, fatigue has set in with Jack who has gotten more air time this race than the previous 10 combined.

Tony says he supported the team's decision to pit. Robin Miller gets very brief air waiting to talk to Tone. Brie with Danica. Every time I tried something I had to fall back. Gambling here at this track really doesn't pay. Dixon says they had plenty of fuel and him not coming in was a mistake. He didn't hear the pit now in time and couldn't get down onto pit lane. Tony was stronger in traffic. Dixon said on the restart Brian (Barnhart, the Iron Hand of Justice) told me to speed up and I did. Totally raining now.

The flag guy holding a limp checkered flag up in the pouring rain is a fitting end to this one. Dixon gets another guitar. Wheldon with Arute -- didn't have a second-place car but will take it. Wheldon has agreed to an extension with Target Chip Ganassi. Brie with Vitor. Feels pretty good about going from 15th to third at one point and then  finishing fifth.

Lap 171 (checkered) -- Dixon, Wheldon, Castroneves, Tony, Danica, Vitor, Buddy Rice, Ed, Manning, Moraes (-1), Power (-1), Rahal (-1), Roth (-1), Mutoh (-2), Bruno (-2), Oriol (-2), Milka (-3), Wilson (DNF), RHR (DNF), Bernoldi (DNF), Camara (DNF), AJ 4 (DNF), Briscoe (DNF), Andretti (DNF).

Points standing (aka the Markers Standing): Dixon has 420, Heilo is -63, Wheldon is -69, Kanaan is -81, Danica is -154. Marty says "markers."

We're out of here. Tune in Sunday, 7/20, 1:30 eastern, ABC for Mid-Ohio.

Comments

[Mike Rice]

Hey P'dog,thanks for making an snoozer of a race entertaining. I nominate you for a position on the broadcast team. Just the barbs you might shoot at Jack, Scott and Marty would bring the ratings up eventually.

[pressdog]

Ooooooo, make no mistake, I would have no skills in the booth a'tall. I would suck. I would be so bad I would gleefully make fun of myself right here. It's a lot harder than everyone thinks, especially when you have a snorefest of a race to announce like Nashville. Not much Marty, Scott and the posse could do with that snoozer.

[Meeshbeer]

there you are! I worried the race had lulled you into a coma and that we should send help!

What a disaster. Thank god all of you tenured IndyCar fan/blogger types thought so too, cause this newbie was beginning to worry that this was acceptable and was starting to seek out a new hobby.

[beerdude]

Pressdog try this beer I worked here for 7 years. weepingradish.com all we made was german beers. I drink not much of anything but german beers. hellas is my favorite style. The weepingradish will ship the beer right to your door... the black radish is the bomb just a simple dark lager!!!

[pressdog]

Thanks for the beer of the race tip. I'll check into it. It wasn't just you, Meesh. Nashville is always a Festival of Snoring.

[My Name Is IRL]

I think we need to change Hunter-Reay's nickname to "Babe".

[PatW]

Well that was fairly tedious but I guess you've got to have races like these to make the others seem better, right? You can't have three wide passing every race or it'll seem contrived. This ain't the N-word. :-)

But even so.. I've mentally marked Nashville down as the Hungarian GP of IndyCar racing. Single file, no passing, go two wide and you're going back.
Mid-Ohio and Hockenheim (or since 2003 or so, Hock-in-half), plus MotoGP at Laguna - should be a good weekend.

(beer tip: Old Speckled Hen)