Welcome to windy Kansas, kids. The bad news is it's a stiff (hey!) 15 mph wind ("At my age, I'm envious of a stiff wind" -- Rodney Dangerfield), with higher gusts. The good news is: it's not raining. (That's very good news.) Just the occasional "spit" as the super-famous Vision PR Czarina Pat Caporali says.
Tomorrow's forecast totally sucks, with a big "strong storms" taking a shit on the entire "SUNDAY" block on weather.com. Bitches! God, send us a 3-hour window. Everyone turn toward Kansas City, KS, and send us your no-rain vibes.
Speaking of PCap (Pat Caporali), I'm going to have to out her as a Serial Tweeter. Why? Why? Because her life these days is characterized by sitting on a stack of rain tires in the Vision pit TWEETING constantly (@VisionRacing) via Blackberry. Relentlessly. She lives in Tweetville. See photo above for Pat in Real Life.
So what have we learned so far, besides they are out of coffee in the media center and the smell of ethanol exhaust causes a physiological reaction in me that's hard to describe?
First, Sarah Fisher is back on the track and super geeked to be there. Sarah PR King Klint Briney says Sarah and her team were chomping at the bit to get to Kansas. Much with the bouncing off the walls. Finally, the extra-long layoff is over. They celebrated by rolling off the truck mid-pack quick, causing Fish Heads everywhere to have Depends moments.
Dollar General is here in full force, with 40-some people in the hizzouse tomorrow. Sarah and the CEO of Dollar General are having a news conference at 11:30 a.m. tomorrow in the media center. I tried to get Klint to SPILL on what that was regarding, but he wouldn't talk. Could be a couple more races, could be an entire season, second car for Indy or corporate sponsorship for pressdog.com. Nobody's talking. Not even my incredible google-added investigative reporting skillz could drag it out of him.
Speaking of skillz, Jeff Olson is here. I made sure and take his seat and cut in front of him in the media center buffet line. I also gave him shit for moving to Florida. He's an Iowa boy, who lives in Indy, and is moving to Florida. With no Iowa/Indiana winters to keep him tough, he'll soon be weak and soft. Unrelenting great weather just isn't natural, man. If Jeff moves into a mobile home park, I'm going down there to stage an intervention. (KIDDING, Florida residents. I kid. I'm a kidder.)
I got a festive hug from Sarah's mom, Reba. She's one of the very few non-relatives on the "permission to hug pressdog" list. Full frontal hug. That's how Reba rolls. She's all geeked up about the weekend like the entire Flying Fish crew. I whipped out my cellphone photo of the Des Moines Dollar General Store Sarah standee. Just let me know if I should email that to the Dollar people, Reba, or just drive to world headquarters and camp out or whatever. (You too can support Sarah Fisher at your local Dollar General.)
Sarah ended up ninth fastest in morning practice, AHEAD of Dario Franchitti. What the? Nobody is getting too excited about that (because she may have gotten a tow), but 9th is better than 19th, obviously. Qualifying is at 2 p.m., so we'll see what is what then.
So far the media celebrities are not exactly out yet. That's usually right before qualifying. I did see IMS radio's Davey Hamilton and My King (Mike King) who was speaking on lower-case voice into his mic in the Dreyer & Reinbold Racing pit. So far no sign of LindyCar or her VERSUS posse. I have yet to scout for the Arute Sky Lair. They may not have built it just in case we get the dreaded storms tomorrow. I'll search more thoroughly this afternoon.
Back in the Vision pits, it's difficult to miss the fact that Ed Carpenter's wife, Heather, is very pregnant. Her baby is due in early June, so Ed could welcome a baby during Indy week. What if Heather goes into labor Indy 500 Sunday morning? Let's hope for Ed's sake she doesn't. That would be a rugged decision for any father/race driver, although I'm pretty sure what Ed or any other driver's call would be.
Right here let me just add my congratulations to the new IndyCar mufflers. The cars are still plenty loud, but it's not the shrill, pierce-through-your-skull sound that makes it impossible to stand on pit lane during practice without earplugs. I managed with unprotected ears fine during morning practice. That would have been unheard of (HAR) last year.
The Firestone Indy Lights cars, on the track right now (12:45 p.m.), also sound better. Less like motorboats and more like cars. Kudos all the way around to Honda for their muffler work.
The Vision Pits were not a happy wonderland of positive thoughts during practice. Ryan Hunter-Reay was living in Pig City, coming in dead last on the charts at 206.030 mph, more than 5 mph behind Scott Dixon in P1 at 211.980 mph. RHR had a "big push." Yeah, to say the least. Ed Carpenter wasn't a ton better at 14th fastest and 209.938.
Milka Duno was faster than Justin Wilson and EJ Viso. Viso and Milka could have a Venezuelan throwdown! Dale Coyne is going to struggle on the big oval. Hard to make up for lack of cash on a big oval. In the words of Buddy Rice, "flat out is flat out."
You'll be pleased to know that the Kansas Speedway has rolled out the fried chicken for the media center dinner buffet. Some Air Force guys (sponsors) cut in front of me. "HEY, COLONEL SANDERS, this is for media and bloggers only, Chief." Kidding. They did go through the line, but didn't cut in front of me and I didn't say that.
There are many non-media (even if you include bloggers in "media") in the media center. Frankly, I don't care who they let in the media center. I just want a desk and wireless Internet and I'm thrilled. It would be nice if everyone keeps it down, which they do. Kansas Speedway does a fabulous job of hosting the media. So bring in every sponsor's girlfriend for all I care. I even put up with the N-word people who are here for the amusing little truck race that is going to happen later today.
OMG. I just looked up and saw "Juan Pablo Montoya, Talladega Pole Winner" on TV in the media center. That caused my brain to shut down and the earth to stop rotating, causing everything to float weightlessly for several seconds. "Montoya," "pole" and "Talladega" are not three words you expect to be in the same sentence. I wonder how the Talladegans like having a CO-lumbian former open-wheeler on the pole. Chortle.
Patrick Stephan of Trackside Online is in the house. If you were a subscriber like me, you'd be spammed with useful information instead of this drivel. So subscribe today.
Robin Miller. In the house. F-bombs have been dropped! The amusing truck race is set for 5 p.m. today, and Robin isn't a fan of the late start time. Seems late to me too, but I try not to pay attention to anything N-word.
Finally the always-natty IndyCar PR posse has a new IZOD look. Maybe Tony George got the hip new PR attire thrown in as part of his deal to put RHR in a car. Anyway, they're styling and profiling.
Better return to stalking around. The amusing trucks are on the track right now going a savage 165-ish mph. Not sure how you can see them at that speed. KIDDING. I kid the trucks. The good news is that they are on the track, which means it ain't raining. Yet. Stay tuned.
"Unrelenting great weather just isn't natural"
I see you've never spent an August in Florida. It's like living in a Botswana chicken coup ... assuming Botswana has 9,000% humidity, of course.
Have fun in Kansas. Pistol-whip Arute for me.
Posted by: Roy Hobbson | April 25, 2009 at 04:27 PM