pressdog beer of the race is Tiger beer, which made it from Singapore to West Des Moines, Iowa.
Before the race, a commercial for Prilosec OTC stomach acid blocker comes on and the first line of the commercial is, I swear, "For NASCAR drivers, blocking is a way to stay ahead, lap after lap."
Insert me spewing beer of the race all over the big-screened wonder here. N-word blocking is such a way of life, it's the basis for a TV ad.
Welcome to the newest circuit on the F1 calendar and Round 14. This is also the only night race of the F1 calendar and, as such, goofy in my opinion. Street/road races at night? It's unnatural.
Renault recap. Found guilty of fixing last year's Singapore race by having one its driver (Nelson Piquet Jr.) crash on purpose at just the right time and place so the other driver (Fernando Alonso) could win. Renault team boss FLAVIO Briatore BANNED indefinitely. Chief engineer Pat Symonds banned for five years. Piquet was given immunity so he gets off with no punishment. Seems fair! Renault placed on double-secret probation for two years. 'Nando gets to keep the win. In reaction, some sponsors, including ING, have pulled their support from Renault.
Four races to go, four drivers have an even remote chance to win. Two Brawn drivers -- Jensen Button and Rubens Barrichello, and two Red Bulls, Sebastian Vettel and Mark Webber. Jensen leads.
Button did not advance out of Q2 qualifying. Anyone behind him by 30 points or more after this race will be mathematically eliminated.
Pete Windsor, Grid Walker, says it's hot and humid. He's with Rubens who had to change a gearbox and will take a five grid spot penalty. Rubens also put it in the wall during the last qualifying period.
Now Pete is with Bob Kubica who says something about a gearbox. Nothing. I got nothing here. I can't understand a word. Heikki Kovalainen says everything should be fine and he's looking forward to a good race. Insightful. I like Heikki. He seems to understand how fortunate he is and actually smiles at times. I tried to find some Heikki stuff to buy online but NO. No sale. Couldn't find anything. I had the credit card OUT. Opportunity lost.
Very bumpy on the track. Hot and humid so it's a physical test for the drivers and tough on the cars.
Nick Heidfeld's car was found to be under weight after qualifying (cheater cheater pumpkin eater!) so he'll start dead last and from the pits.
Timo Glock with Pete -- Rain would be quite nice. Make it very very interesting for the fans and very tricky for us drivers. IPete is now excited to see Will I. Am of the Black Eyed Peas on the grid. Confesses he has a Peas album. Will says he wants to make a song out of all the noise ... which would immediately sell 23 bazillion copies, including one to Pete.
Alonso. He was very happy starting P5. Try to remain P5 after the first corner.
Racing Per Matchett where Steve Matchett talks about the insanely fine machining that F1 teams do to control weight.
We go around this three-mile, 23-turn wonder lit by 1500 lights of two THOUSAND watts each. Passing opportunities: very few. So it's your standard F1 track. But it looks just FANTASTIC. Fans appreciate a track that LOOKS great most of all. If it races great, meh, but if it LOOKS FUN-TASTIC, that's what really turns us on.
Starting lineup: Lewis Hamilton, Sebastian Vettel, Nico Rosberg, Mark Webber, Fernando Alonso, Tim Glock, Robert Kubica, Kovalainen, Barrichello, Kazuki Nakajima, Jensen Button, Kimi Räikkönen, Sebastien Buemi, Jarno Trulli, Adrian Sutil, Jaime Alguersuari, Giancarlo Fisichella, Romain Grojean, Vitantonio Liuzzi, Nick Heidfeld.
Story lines. Steve Matchett -- street smarts. Strategy -- one stop, two stops, Safety Car? (insert childlike giggle here)
David Hobbs -- Desperate drivers trying to stay in the title hunt.
Bob Varsha -- Drivers driving for their jobs. 12 of 20 drivers are rumored to be moving around after the season.
Gridded. Let's light this candle. We're GREEN.
Vettel gets a crap start for some reason and is inhaled. Alonso gets inhaled by someone else.
No carnage in early turns. Hamilton, Rosberg, Vettel, Webber, Glock, Alonoso, Barrichello, Kubica, Kovalainen, Button.
Hamilton goes purple (fastest lap) at 1:50:935
Replay of the start. Alonso tries Vettel on the outside but NO. Onboard with Vettel as Rosberg inhales him off the start.
Grosjean is in the pits. Looks to be toast.
Lap 3 -- Glock is P5. Hobbs gives him a shout out.
Lap 4 -- Hamilton is +1.9 seconds on P2. Possible KERS (Kinetic Energy Recovery System) issues. May have to disable it.
Vettel goes purple at 1:49.122. I am watching timing and scoring here and beat Matchett to a new purple person!
Matchett pops into Random Speculation Mode over what's up with Hamilton's KERS. Don't forget, it could be snipers, or possibly snakes in the cock pit, my two favorite Random Speculation possibilities.
Hamilton sets fastest lap again.
Lap 6 -- Webber loses two spots here for some reason. Bob -- Webber had to let Glock and Alonso by for some goofy driving earlier.
Webber's radio -- Have to let Glock and Alonso past. Webber: Why Glock? Pit: Because he is in front of Alonso.
Replay of the start showing Webber going wide (off the track) in order to pass Alonso. Booth guys recall that Kimi did the same thing, only much worse, at Monza and was not penalized and won it. Hobbs -- Mark Webber did the same thing. (I refuse to believe Ferrari would get preferential treatment by the stewards!)
Pete does an incredibly good Räikkönenese impersonation of how Kimi said he was pushed off the course from behind in Monza.
Sutil may have overheating issues. Pit tells Fisichella that Sutil has some issues. "Pass him."
Lap 10 -- Rosberg is now the fastest. Grosjean is OUT due to brake issues.
Alguersuari has a train behind him. Hobbs -- He doesn't appear to be doing any serious extra blocking.
If he did do extra blocking he'd be hailed as a stallion in F1, where blocking is not only condoned, it's celebrated.
Replay of Buemi going wide and Räikkönen inhaling him. Onboard with Sutil working on Alguersuari, NO. Good luck getting anyone on this track unless 1) the brain lock or 2) we have a restart.
Debris may be off Timo's Toyota. Local yellow only. Keep your Safety Car parked! GOD I love how reluctant F1 is to put out the safety car (pace car).
Matchett says that Hamilton's KERS may be working again.
Lap 14 -- Matchett rediscovers timing and scoring and starts in with the sector times.
Hamilton, Rosberg, Vettel, Glock Alonoso, Webber, Barrichello, Kubica, Kovalainen, Button, Nakajima.
Lap 15 -- Pit stops may be coming. Matchett says most cars that didn't make it out of Q2 qualifying are on a one-stop strategy.
Tickets for this race were $175 to $300 US each. Paddock Club tickets were a scant $8,000 each. Who can afford to watch F1 in person? Not this pressdog.
Video of a marshal scurrying out onto the course to get the debris. AWESOME. This guy gets bonus cash. That's how MEN do track debris clearing, while cars are on the track.
Vettel pits. Prime tire. Out. Rejoins in P5.
Lap 18 -- Rosberg pits. In and out. Stays on primes so he will pit again. Crosses the line on pit exit! Holy screw up. Block all you want, but don't you DARE pass the pit lane boundary or the stewards will land on you. Then Rosberg hip checks Barrichello out of the way for P4 for good measure.
Lap 19 -- Barrichello pits. Glock pits. Matchett goes into Random Speculation Mode on where the wing debris that the marshal scurried for came from. Don't rule out snipers, or maybe the snakes busted it off the front wing.
Barrichello gets out in front of Räikkönen who is P10.
Hamilton pits. Keeps lead thanks to others stopping behind him. Rosberg gets a drive-through for crossing the line. May take timing and scoring a minute to catch up.
Lap 28.
Cue the circus music! Sutil goes ass around and then spears Heidfeld, creating a Festival of Carbon Fiber. Sutil was trying to pass someone, got ambitious, went ass-around and then tried to get back underway and mashed into Heidfeld. It's a festival of carbon fiber which means ...
SAFETY CAR! Matchett runs in place in the booth while clapping his hands together rapidly. Safety car boys! It's also a festival of pitting.
Lap 28.
Holy double-dip circus music! Alguersuari has some kind of pit issue. Tries to take off with the fuel hose still stuck in his car. Knocked down a couple of crew members. But he realizes what is up in time to stop quickly. Crew guys are OK.
Hamilton, Rosberg, Vettel, Glock, Alonso, Barrichello, Kovalainen, Button, Webber, Kubica.
Lap 23 -- Rosberg will do his drive through when the safety car pulls off and the track goes green to minimize track position damage.
Lap 24 -- Safety car coming in this lap. Sutil is parked. JUNK. Lights are out. GREEN.
Rosberg DID NOT follow the safety car into the pits. Hmmmm. Booth guys are surprised by that one.
Lap 27 -- Rosberg finally drives through. Out in P14 behind Trulli.
Pete says the Safety Car killed Rosberg. Without it, he comes out mid-pack because he could do his drive through through when the field was spread out. Now they are bunched up and he gets passed by about everyone.
Vettel is closing on Hamilton, but I can't see Hamilton getting passed here. Too easy to make yourself wide on this track. A pass for the lead ON TRACK outside the first lap in an F1 race happens about once every decade or so.
31 to go -- Vettel now has Hamilton in sight, at least. Hobbs wonders how big of an effort Vettel will make to pass since it's only two points. The bad news is the McLaren has SIX more laps of fuel on it than Vettel's Red bull.
Replay of Nico Rosberg straddling a curb and ripping the shit out of his defuser. This would cause a 10-lap, FULL COURSE yellow in the IRL, but here it's leaves blowing across the track. Ho-humm. Timo is closing the gap on Vettel. Needs to stay in contact coming to final pit stops.
Replay of Vettel losing a mirror.
Matchett says the stewards could, conceivably, call Vettel in and make him repair the mirror. If they did, they'd have to be set upon and beaten by fans. Rip out all the mirrors. Make it harder to block.
Rosberg is working on Alguersuari. Rosberg under and CLEAR. Alguersuari let him go because he's multilaps down or has issues. Class.
Vettel pits and Hamilton stays out Hamilton needs to get the wings back in the delta now so he can gap Vettel. Vettel rejoins in P7.
Now Vettel goes wide and over a curb and does floor damage to his car. Carbon fiber everywhere again. Insert NO SAFETY CAR here.
Ruh-roe. Vettel may have done the pit lane speed violation thang.
Yep, Vettel has a drive-through for speeding. His crew gives a couple head shakes. OK, can I just say here, that a few races ago a tire changer screwed up and cost the team maybe five seconds. Booth guys go on and on and on and on and OMG ON about how the guy cost them the race, no excuse, blah blah blah. But a driver SCREWS UP and blows the pit speed and costs the team the race and we do NOT get 19 replays and 19 minutes of how Vettel should be taken out and beaten repeatedly and then set on fire.
Double standard, much?
20 to go. Glock is P2. Vettel radio: Still race for fourth or fifth so stay focused.
Varsha says Abu Dhabi is going to be very cool as well.
Vettel does a drive through and rejoins in P9.
Pete: Toyota wants to finish strong so they can field a team next year and Renault wants a good result after their horrible week.
Hamilton, Glock, Alonso, Barrichello, Kovalainen, Button, Webber, Nakajima, Vettel, Räikkönen, Trulli.
17 to go -- Webber throws up some brake dust. Webber pits. Matchett -- Ferrari may have stopped development on 2009 and are working on 2010. Or Räikkönen may have lost interest.
16 to go -- Mika Häkkinen, two-time F1 champion, gets air in the McLaren area and gives us a thumbs up.
Cue the circus music! Webber is ass-around and into the barrier. We think his brakes blew.
Matchett says Hamilton has to pit NOW (now, GODDAMN IT, RIGHT NOW FOR THE LOVE OF GOD) in case the SAFETY CAR comes out.
15 to go -- Lewis pits. Replay. Webber gives off a cloud of brake dust and then ass around.
We got a festival of pitting. In F1, you want the full-course safety car yellow to come out the SECOND you leave the pits since you'll move up when everyone else pits. On an oval, the LAST thing you want is a yellow right after you pit since you almost always get lapped when you pit and if the yellow flies you can't get your lap back very easily.
14 to go -- NO safety car, so they probably won't have one. Webber is well off the line so the odds of someone hitting his car are pretty remote. I love how F1 doesn't go safety car the second someone spins. Keep it green, baby. Note to IndyCar -- dude. Take some notes.
Webber is most likely screwed for the championship due to his DNF. Alonso now leads but has to pit. Hamilton, Button, Glock, Vettel, Räikkönen, Barrichello, Kovalainen, Trulli. Many still have to pit.
Button has a camera pointed back at one of the sidepod intakes. STIRRING shot. No idea what that's supposed to show me.
Alguersuari pits. Probably done. Buemi is in and TOAST as well. Maybe the same brake issues.
13 to go. Vettel only Red Bull car still out on the track.
12 to go. Button P3 but has to pit one last time.
11 to go. Alonso pits. Very fast and out. Matchett says three seconds of fuel is enough to get to the end. Alonso out in P4.
Button pits from P2. In and out with no issues.
9 to go -- Hamilton, Glock, Alonso, Vettel, Button, Räikkönen, Barrichello, Kovalainen, Nakajima,.
Räikkönen pits. Varsha tells us that if Bernie's Ecclestone's goofy gold medal plan was in effect now, the championship would be settled after Singapore.
Vettel, Button, Barrichello only ones with a shot at the championship.
Lap 6 -- Hobbs says Räikkönen has driven a lackluster race. Oh geez, here we go. Bag on Kimi time.
Räikkönen job may be in jeopardy this week one of the booth guy say. Varsha can't believe another team is interested in Räikkönen who is so easily distracted.
I guess that whole World Championship thing and winning Monza three times and podium-ing several times this year is no big thang. I love when everyone bags on Räikkönen, like if he REALLY WANTS TO he can make his car P1! Damn it, Kimi, if you WANT IT ENOUGH. So then why aren't we calling Jensen Button "distracted" and "not trying" and all that right about now? What a bunch of rot. Rubbish. Winning in racing ain't just about WANTING IT MORE. If your car is a pig, it's a pig. I don't get the bagging on Räikkönen. Maybe because he's an android (ever seen him bleed?) and speaks Räikkönenese.
Timo goes fast this time. Hobbs -- Why don't you do that every day, sunshine? (Again, I would think Hobbs would know that it's not just up to the driver, sunshine.) Räikkönen rumored to get something like $49 million next year from Ferrari under a contract that Ferrari was, presumably, not forced to sign
Matchett -- I find it surreal that anyone gets $49 million for a year of work.
Hobbs -- run a hedge fun and you get $300 million.
BAM. Yes. Great point, Dave.
5 to go -- the reason we're into this chit-chat about Räikkönen and hedge fun managers is because this race is over. Hamilton will win barring air strike.
Button's radio: "It's Ross, Jensen. Make sure the car gets to the finish." So That would be GOD telling you not to do anything INSANE.
Matchett is back on Räikkönen's case. Says he gets demotivated.
Could be, you know, that the car sucks. Massa wasn't exactly kicking Räikkönen's ass this year before Massa got smacked with a spring, so maybe Massa was demotivated as well.
1 to go. Discussion of Hamilton's crap start to the season. No discussion of Hamilton be distracted or demotivated, though. I guess that's only Räikkönen.
Lewis wins. Insert me being shocked here. Glock P2. Good for him. Must have REALLY WANTED IT this time, as opposed to all the other races when he was indifferent, I guess. Alonso P3 without Piquet crashing to assist him.
Weigh in. Podium. Pete is back doing the post race interviews. Better tune into see what they say.
Finishing order: Hamilton, Glock, Alonso, Vettel, Button, Barrichello, Kovalainen, Kubica, Nakajima, Räikkönen, Rosberg, Trulli, Fisichella, Liuzzi, Alguersuari, Buemi, Webber, Sutil, Heidfeld, Grosjean.
Championship -- Button 84, Barrichello 69, Vettel 59, Webber 51.5.
Constructors -- Brawn GP 153, Red Bull 105, Ferrari 62, McLaren Mercedes 59, Toyota 46.5.
I heard that line in the Prilosec ad too! I thought I couldn't have possibly heard it correctly, but there it was. Blocking in N*****? I'm shocked.
Actually, I thought Singapore under the lights was rather fascinating. It was a high point in a relatively boring race, interrupted by moments of lunacy.
Posted by: Sue | September 28, 2009 at 09:01 PM
Good news: "12 of 20 drivers are rumored to be moving around after the season."
Props to Timo Glock, whom I watched racing Stateside in a Champ Car. P2 in a Toyota. Hmm. Happy for him. Man that race was a comedy -- including the talking heads. Thanks for the race notes. BTW, how do people who found Singapore to be very warm, humid and uncomfortable at night survive during daylight hours?
Posted by: Brian McKay | September 28, 2009 at 10:51 PM
It annoys me a little when people knock Raikkonen. When you consider that Massa was doing a very good job and look at what Fisichella is doing in the car now, it just makes me believe that rather than being demotivated, Raikkonen is currently getting 120% out of the car.
Happy for Glock. Very good driver that I think will be fighting for wins in the right car.
Posted by: Leigh O'Gorman | September 29, 2009 at 01:56 AM
Great race but WTF were the usually brilliant SPEED team on??
Were they told to create dumbass controversy where there is none? Do they really believe that Button & Barrichello who last year were crap drivers are really brilliant now?? (or vice versa) As the P-dog says, driving a crap car doesn’t make you a crap driver & driving a great car doesn’t make you a great driver. (room for a Danica discussion here)
C’mon guys.
Marshals are NOT paid anything…… anywhere in the world. They volunteer to risk their lives & pay their own way to do it.
The booth guys know that.
Pit lane exit lines are there to prevent 150mph crashes and multiple deaths due to blocking and/or dumbasses. Violators need a major penalty. The booth guys know that.
Rosberg would NEVER pit for his penalty right after the green came out. If he did he’d come out in last place. If he delays the stop as long as possible he may come out in at least second last place but geezzz ya gotta try!. If the booth guys don’t understand this basic concept there’s no hope.
I can only assume that they all went to a major party on Saturday night & next week will be MUCH better.
Posted by: S0CSeven | September 29, 2009 at 09:34 AM
Oooohh errr...
Tsunami warning for this weekend's Japanese Grand Prix
:o
Posted by: Leigh O'Gorman | September 30, 2009 at 05:34 AM
There are some Heikki t-shirts and caps on: https://www.mclarenshop.com/
and
http://f1store.formula1.com/
Posted by: Pat W | October 01, 2009 at 07:15 PM