Pippa Mann's Car to Get New Seat to Accommodate "Huge Cojones"

Firestone Indy Lights driver Pippa Mann will get a new seat in her car in the next few days to make room for "cojones mas grande."

Insiders said Friday night the move came after Mann went head to head and side-by-side with various competitors during practice for the Freedom 100 at Indianapolis Motor Speedway.

Pippa herself threw fuel on the fire by tweeting (@pippamann) "One of the spotters told my spotter that we need to make me a new seat. They think my "balls" are too big for my current one...(!!!!!) ;)"

Pippa's drive left observers saying "that woman has massive balls of steel," which led to concern that Pippa may be a little cramped in her seat. "I tell you, anyone that ballsy is going to need a little more room in gonadial region, if you get my drift, and I don't care if she's technically female."

When asked about the alleged ball-room changes, Mann, who is from Ipswich, England, would only say "that's bollocks." The comment sent Americans scurrying to their English-English translators to find that "bollocks" is an old English term that means "testicles."

Mann and her massive set will be back on the track on May 27.

Comments

[The Speedgeek]

Fighting...urge... Too...many...potential....plays on words...

[@djcraske]

Kinda surprised you didn't jump on the "Pippa Mann looks really racy today" tweet from NZRConsulting. I swore I heard a cornoary pop somewhere off in the distance westward.

[Franchittilitter]

Ummm... That's not what cajones means! You mean 'cojones,' not 'boxes' or 'coffins!'

[Dean Van Line]

Hopefully she'll actually win a professional race sometime with those "grande jeuvos" she supposedly has.

[pressdog]

Ha ha. My college Spanish teacher would be most displeased. "Cojones." Changed it, Franchittilitter. But I hear Pip has huge coffins too. Thanks for harshing my buzz, Dean. Appreciate it.

[Nathan]

....or as Speed F1's David Hobbs used to say "Large attachments"

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=attachments&defid=4948288

[D. Slump-Drummer]

Dear Pressdog,
I must respond to your May blog regarding Pippa Mann's supposed “cajones”.

As a doctor of Girl Racecarology, I feel I should correct the anatomical misapprehension that your article may foster. As a holder of an advanced certificate from Ace Medical University, Storm Doors, Windows, and Siding (located next to the “Nails-R-Us” salon in downtown Cleveland), I am an expert on these matters.

While she may desire them, the possession of cajones by Ms. Mann is medically impossible. Let's start with the basics in order to explain why. As everyone knows, men have a “johnson” and girls have a “down there.” Now, in that fascinating area, the tissue structures include the following: the gulf of guthrie, the danica gland, and the fisher fissure. The gulf of guthrie supplies much needed nutrients to the danica gland, which in turn toughens the female tissues. Men of course also have the fisher fissure, but it is often removed after bad racing behavior. This is called a fissurectomy. Women cannot have this vital area removed. (Only three male doctors in the world have tried it; they were all later found dead, beaten to death by the heels of fashionable shoes). Despite the work of the danica gland to toughen the tissues, there is not enough skin area or sinew to support the sac-like structures that house (but rarely do a hell of a lot to protect!) a pair of “cajones.” Thus Ms. Mann is indeed tough and highly competitive, but cannot possess cajones, much less ones made of heavy metals , such as “steel.”

A fascinating sidelight of this medical area is the magical work of the danica gland in some, but not all, women. The effect is found only in female auto racers. For reasons yet unknown, the gland, nourished by the gulf of guthrie, grows an entirely new organ: a small, tough, straw-like structure with a direct attachment to the nervous system, yet not anything like a “cajone”. This is the Tracy Tube, or in her case perhaps, the “isle of Mann.” When excited by competition, or in the presence of testosterone, particularly Canadian testosterone, it secretes a vile bile, and causes a complete inability to control bad language, much like a momentary blast of Turret's syndrome, dubbed by some, “Tracy Turets.”

I hope this has exposed more of this (t)issue.

Dr. D. Slump-Drummer)
Girl Racecarologist

[Erwin Calverley]

LOL! Every car driver should have the courage to face anything on the road. Men may be the more dominant today in terms of the number of drivers participating in professional races, but women are slowly but surely getting some of the limelight as some of the best drivers in the world today. She's got the kind of courage to race a car at very high speeds in very technical race tracks, and she deserves to be an inspiration for the ladies. :)