Ryan Newman Could Set off Umbrage Tsunami by Winning the NASCAR Championship

Spoiler chortling ... Ryan Newman (left) and Matt Kenseth could be the flies in NASCAR's win-focused ointment

I was actually contemplating how cool it was that NASCAR had created big incentives for drivers to go for the win this year when this popped into my head: Helllooooooo, NEWMAN.

Both Ryan Newman and Matt Kenseth are winless this year, and if either wins the championship, the Festival of Rage, Chagrin, and UMBRAGE would be so delicious, that as a result I now want one of them to win, even though I picked Jeff Gordon in my bracket. No offense, Jeff!

Newman and Kenseth are two of eight still alive in the Chase, along with Joey Logano, Kevin Harvick, Denny Hamlin, Carl Edwards, Jeff Gordon and Brad Keselowski. Everybody but Kenseth and Newman has at least one win.

I’m rooting for Newman, though, because he's the bigger underdog. During the regular season he only posted three top fives and led 41 laps. Newman squeaked into the Chase as the P16 (and final) qualifier, so he’s like the 8-8 NFL team that makes the playoffs as a wildcard.

Lately, Newman has been swinging the war ax of consistency (old school) against laser gun of elimination (new school). In the last four races, Newman has finished P8 at Dover, P6 at Kansas, P7 at Charlotte, P5 at Talladega.

I’m not rooting for him out of bitterness against the new, 16 “nation” format that emphasizes wins, because I like the fact that NASCAR emphasizes wins. I am rooting for him because he’s the fly in the ointment, seems like a nice guy, and the UMBRAGE a Newman title would generate would be sooooo exceptionally DELISH. Like Leon Spinks beating Mohammed Ali  for us old people (February 15, 1978).

People would just lose their shit everywhere. (Hopefully Newman wouldn’t go on the epic career suicide bender that Spinks went on.) OUTRAGEOUS that a winless driver wins the championship! NEVER WATCHING THIS CONTRIVED BULLSHIT AGAIN! Cue the CONGRESSIONAL INVESTIGATION.

So, what if Newman pulls off top fives in the next three races, while big dogs roll it, and he advances to the final four? Then it’s just a matter of finishing in front of the other three — which doesn’t necessarily mean win the race — to win the title. After all, we got a lot of eliminated racers who will be driving angry in the last four races.

It’s more than just plausible. And, I think NASCAR would be OK with Champion Newman … because of the massive Festival of Twisted Knickers it would set off. Screaming and yelling among fans and in the media is a good thing. NASCAR rides it like a pro surfer in the pipe off Oahu.

Helllloooooo NEWMAN.

UPDATE: It's just come to my attention that Ryan Newman has a foundation focused in part on the welfare of pets, which has my extreme support. Check it out here. 

Comments

[The Speedgeek]

I mostly just think it's hilarious that NASCAR apparently couldn't foresee such a thing happening when they announced their "we're putting a premium on WINNING!" Chase re-structuring. On the other hand, I think that I and about 50 other people on Twitter saw within about 10 minutes after the presser that it'd be just as possible to wind up with a winless Cup champion as it was before.

Whatever. Still won't be watching.

[OSCA]

I think it would be great! The World Series this year is NOT what the purists want....both the Giants and Royals were wild card teams.....the WS used to be about the WINNERS of the National and American Leagues! The NFL is so over hyped it doesn't matter who wins....it's about the Fantasy winners, and how many players have escaped the slammer, and what Roger makes this year ($44,000,000) for making sure that as many scandals as possible are swept under the rug...if reports are true!

It might seem strange to IndyCar fans, but they make sure one of the Big Three always wins the Championship...(as if anyone cares except the few of us left when it really meant something). In IndyCar if an outsider won the Championship Penske would have a hissy fit, and Ganassi and Andretti would need a pill to keep them from hurting themselves. Besides who can name the champ from three years ago??...Nobody knows, nobody cares, outside of about 12 of us.

NASCAR never thought this would happen, and it may well work out well for the France clan.....But Jr, fans are already having a tantrum, and Rick (the elder) and JJ are plotting how to make certain it never happens again......I wonder is Chad is going to be "fired", or as we say in proper society...."decided to pursue other options".

I have an idea..... Chad goes to crew the Go Daddy car!!!!

I picked Joey to win it since Penske has ordained it. But I'd love to see Newman or Matt win it...wouldn't you???

[billytheskink]

You miss what is truly the largest drawback to the new chase system, it is the biggest umbrage generator in sports... the TIE.

Imagine the conversation if a winless Newman and a winless Kenseth tied for the championship? Do they break the tie with poles won? 2nd places? Top 5's? 10's? A Pixar's Cars-style match race?
(the last one of course, no brainer)

Truly, a missed opportunity for NASCAR.

[OSCA]

billytheskink, I don't think a tie can happen since the highest finisher in the last race wins the championship.

You are correct if they were to tie for last place of the four heading into the final race...then there would have to be tie breaker...which I think is highest average finisher in the next 3 races!

I know I am probably alone on this....but I like this format....!!!

[Chris Lukens]

P-dog, I really like your thought process here. It sent me to Google for a little research. There has never been a Nascar champion with out a win.
There has been four Nascar champions with only a single win; Matt Kenseth in 2003, Benny Parsons in 1973, Ned Jarrett in 1961 and Bill Rexford in 1950.

[billytheskink]

You are correct OSCA. My first sentence did not really say what I had intended it to, that the biggest drawback to the new chase format is that a championship tie cannot happen.

I'm half-serious about that, by the way. Full serious is umbrage is our only concern.

[pressdog]

Of course, OSCA, no ties possible. And, also of course, Billy, MAX UMBRAGE is always our goal. What if Danica wins at Homestead, two contenders wreck on lap 1 and Kenseth and Newman sprint to the line, two-wide each five laps down battling for 39th place and the title!? I'd explode and the Internet would flicker twice and disappear forever.

[vern]

Would love to see Newman win & make this circus stunt Nascar series look bad as it is to most anyway nowdays. Wins is all that matters--yeh right--unless a non winner takes it all--Go Newman.

BTW loved to see Nascars MR popular JR OUT of the chase so Nascar & JR nation must be crying about that--boo hoo. All things considered Nascar has hit a new low this yr with their lame rule changes etc & will continue to drive fans away on a downslide for the future--Love it.